I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina .

He is very near by this : he was not three leagues off when I left him .

How many gentlemen have you lost in this action ?

But few of any sort , and none of name .

A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers . I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio .

Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro . He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age , doing in the figure of a lamb the feats of a lion : he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how .

He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it .

I have already delivered him letters , and there appears much joy in him ; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness .

Did he break out into tears ?

In great measure .

A kind overflow of kindness . There are no faces truer than those that are so washed : how much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping !

I pray you is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no ?

I know none of that name , lady : there was none such in the army of any sort .

What is he that you ask for , niece ?

My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua .

O ! he is returned , and as pleasant as ever he was .

He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight ; and my uncle's fool , reading the challenge , subscribed for Cupid , and challenged him at the bird-bolt . I pray you , how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars ? But how many hath he killed ? for , indeed , I promised to eat all of his killing .

Faith , niece , you tax Signior Benedick too much ; but he'll be meet with you , I doubt it not .

He hath done good service , lady , in these wars .

You had musty victual , and he hath holp to eat it : he is a very valiant trencherman ; he hath an excellent stomach .

And a good soldier too , lady .

And a good soldier to a lady ; but what is he to a lord ?

A lord to a lord , a man to a man , stuffed with all honourable virtues .

It is so , indeed ; he is no less than a stuffed man ; but for the stuffing ,well , we are all mortal .

You must not , sir , mistake my niece There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her : they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them .

Alas ! he gets nothing by that . In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off , and now is the whole man governed with one ! so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm , let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse ; for it is all the wealth that he hath left to be known a reasonable creature . Who is his companion now ? He hath every month a new sworn brother .

Is't possible ?

Very easily possible : he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat ; it ever changes with the next block .

I see , lady , the gentleman is not in your books .

No ; an he were , I would burn my study . But , I pray you , who is his companion ? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil ?

He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio .

O Lord ! he will hang upon him like a disease : he is sooner caught than the pestilence , and the taker runs presently mad . God help the noble Claudio ! if he have caught the Benedick , it will cost him a thousand pound ere a' be cured .

I will hold friends with you , lady .

Do , good friend .

You will never run mad , niece .

No , not till a hot January .

Don Pedro is approached .


Good Signior Leonato , you are come to meet your trouble : the fashion of the world is to avoid cost , and you encounter it .

Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your Grace , for trouble being gone , comfort should remain ; but when you depart from me , sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave .

You embrace your charge too willingly . I think this is your daughter .

Her mother hath many times told me so .

Were you in doubt , sir , that you asked her ?

Signior Benedick , no ; for then you were a child .

You have it full , Benedick : we may guess by this what you are , being a man . Truly , the lady fathers herself . Be happy , lady , for you are like an honourable father .

If Signior Leonato be her father , she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina , as like him as she is .

I wonder that you will still be talking , Signior Benedick : nobody marks you .

What ! my dear Lady Disdain , are you yet living ?

Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick ? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain , if you come in her presence .

Then is courtesy a turncoat . But it is certain I am loved of all ladies , only you excepted ; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart ; for , truly , I love none .

A dear happiness to women : they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor . I thank God and my cold blood , I am of your humour for that : I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me .

God keep your ladyship still in that mind ; so some gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate scratched face .

Scratching could not make it worse , an 'twere such a face as yours were .

Well , you are a rare parrot-teacher .

A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours .

I would my horse had the speed of your tongue , and so good a continuer . But keep your way , i' God's name ; I have done .

You always end with a jade's trick : I know you of old .

This is the sum of all , Leonato : Signior Claudio , and Signior Benedick , my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all . I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month , and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer : I dare swear he is no hypocrite , but prays from his heart .

If you swear , my lord , you shall not be forsworn .

Let me bid you welcome , my lord : being reconciled to the prince your brother , I owe you all duty .

I thank you : I am not of many words , but I thank you .

Please it your Grace lead on ?

Your hand , Leonato ; we will go together .


Benedick , didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato ?

I noted her not ; but I looked on her .

Is she not a modest young lady ?

Do you question me , as an honest man should do , for my simple true judgment ; or would you have me speak after my custom , as being a professed tyrant to their sex ?

No ; I pray thee speak in sober judgment .

Why , i' faith , methinks she's too low for a high praise , too brown for a fair praise , and too little for a great praise : only this commendation I can afford her , that were she other than she is , she were unhandsome , and being no other but as she is , I do not like her .

Thou thinkest I am in sport : I pray thee tell me truly how thou likest her .

Would you buy her , that you inquire after her ?

Can the world buy such a jewel ?

Yea , and a case to put it into . But speak you this with a sad brow , or do you play the flouting Jack , to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder , and Vulcan a rare carpenter ? Come , in what key shall a man take you , to go in the song ?

In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on .

I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such matter : there's her cousin an she were not possessed with a fury , exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December . But I hope you have no intent to turn husband , have you ?

I would scarce trust myself , though I had sworn to the contrary , if Hero would be my wife .

Is't come to this , i' faith ? Hath not the world one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion ? Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again ? Go to , i' faith ; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke , wear the print of it , and sigh away Sundays . Look ! Don Pedro is returned to seek you .


What secret hath held you here , that you followed not to Leonato's ?

I would your Grace would constrain me to tell .

I charge thee on thy allegiance .

You hear , Count Claudio : I can be secret as a dumb man ; I would have you think so ; but on my allegiance , mark you this , on my allegiance : he is in love . With who ? now that is your Grace's part . Mark how short his answer is : with Hero , Leonato's short daughter .

If this were so , so were it uttered .

Like the old tale , my lord : 'it is not so , nor 'twas not so ; but , indeed , God forbid it should be so .' 

If my passion change not shortly , God forbid it should be otherwise .

Amen , if you love her ; for the lady is very well worthy .

You speak this to fetch me in , my lord .

By my troth , I speak my thought .

And in faith , my lord , I spoke mine .

And by my two faiths and troths , my lord , I spoke mine .

That I love her , I feel .

That she is worthy , I know .

That I neither feel how she should be loved nor know how she should be worthy , is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me : I will die in it at the stake .

Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty .

And never could maintain his part but in the force of his will .

That a woman conceived me , I thank her ; that she brought me up , I likewise give her most humble thanks : but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead , or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick , all women shall pardon me . Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any , I will do myself the right to trust none ; and the fine is ,for the which I may go the finer ,I will live a bachelor .

I shall see thee , ere I die , look pale with love .

With anger , with sickness , or with hunger , my lord ; not with love : prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking , pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen , and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid .

Well , if ever thou dost fall from this faith , thou wilt prove a notable argument .

If I do , hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me ; and he that hits me , let him be clapped on the shoulder , and called Adam .

Well , as time shall try :
'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke .' 

The savage bull may ; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it , pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead ; and let me be vilely painted , and in such great letters as they write , 'Here is good horse to hire ,' let them signify under my sign 'Here you may see Benedick the married man .' 

If this should ever happen , thou wouldst be horn-mad .

Nay , if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice , thou wilt quake for this shortly .

I look for an earthquake too then .

Well , you will temporize with the hours . In the meantime , good Signior Benedick , repair to Leonato's : commend me to him and tell him I will not fail him at supper ; for indeed he hath made great preparation .

I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage ; and so I commit you 

To the tuition of God : from my house , if I had it ,

The sixth of July : your loving friend , Benedick .

Nay , mock not , mock not . The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments , and the guards are but slightly basted on neither : ere you flout old ends any further , examine your conscience : and so I leave you .


My liege , your highness now may do me good .

My love is thine to teach : teach it but how ,
And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn 
Any hard lesson that may do thee good .

Hath Leonato any son , my lord ?

No child but Hero ; she's his only heir .
Dost thou affect her , Claudio ?

O ! my lord ,
When you went onward on this ended action ,
I looked upon her with a soldier's eye ,
That lik'd , but had a rougher task in hand 
Than to drive liking to the name of love ;
But now I am return'd , and that war-thoughts 
Have left their places vacant , in their rooms 
Come thronging soft and delicate desires ,
All prompting me how fair young Hero is ,
Saying , I lik'd her ere I went to wars .

Thou wilt be like a lover presently ,
And tire the hearer with a book of words .
If thou dost love fair Hero , cherish it ,
And I will break with her , and with her father ,
And thou shalt have her . Was't not to this end 
That thou began'st to twist so fine a story ?

How sweetly do you minister to love ,
That know love's grief by his complexion !
But lest my liking might too sudden seem ,
I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise .

What need the bridge much broader than the flood ?
The fairest grant is the necessity .
Look , what will serve is fit : 'tis once , thou lov'st ,
And I will fit thee with the remedy .
I know we shall have revelling to-night :
I will assume thy part in some disguise ,
And tell fair Hero I am Claudio ;
And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart ,
And take her hearing prisoner with the force 
And strong encounter of my amorous tale :
Then , after to her father will I break ;
And the conclusion is , she shall be thine .
In practice let us put it presently .


How now , brother ! Where is my cousin , your son ? Hath he provided this music ?

He is very busy about it . But , brother , I can tell you strange news that you yet dreaint not of .

Are they good ?

As the event stamps them : but they have a good cover ; they show well outward . The prince and Count Claudio , walking in a thick-pleached alley in my orchard , were thus much overheard by a man of mine : the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my niece your daughter , and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance ; and , if he found her accordant , he meant to take the present time by the top and instantly break with you of it .

Hath the fellow any wit that told you this ?

A good sharp fellow : I will send for him ; and question him yourself .

No , no ; we will hold it as a dream till it appear itself : but I will acquaint my daughter withal , that she may be the better prepared for an answer , if peradventure this be true . Go you , and tell her of it .

Cousins , you know what you have to do . O ! I cry you mercy , friend ; go you with me , and I will use your skill . Good cousin , have a care this busy time .


What the good-year , my lord ! why are you thus out of measure sad ?

There is no measure in the occasion that breeds ; therefore the sadness is without limit .

You should hear reason .

And when I have heard it , what blessing brings it ?

It not a present remedy , at least a patient sufferance .

I wonder that thou , being ,as thou say'st thou art ,born under Saturn , goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief . I cannot hide what I am : I must be sad when I have cause , and smile at no man's jests ; eat when I have stomach , and wait for no man's leisure ; sleep when I am drowsy , and tend on no man's business ; laugh when I am merry , and claw no man in his humour .

Yea ; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment . You have of late stood out against your brother , and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace ; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself : it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest .

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace ; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any : in this , though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man , it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain . I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog ; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage . If I had my mouth , I would bite ; if I had my liberty , I would do my liking : in the meantime , let me be that I am , and seek not to alter me .

Can you make no use of your discontent ?

I make all use of it , for I use it only . Who comes here ?

What news , Borachio ?

I came yonder from a great supper : the prince , your brother , is royally entertained by Leonato ; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage .

Will it serve for any model to build mischief on ? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness ?

Marry , it is your brother's right hand .

Who ? the most exquisite Claudio ?

Even he .

A proper squire ! And who , and who ? which way looks he ?

Marry , on Hero , the daughter and heir of Leonato .

A very forward March-chick ! How came you to this ?

Being entertained for a perfumer , as I was smoking a musty room , comes me the prince and Claudio , hand in hand , in sad conference : I whipt me behind the arras , and there heard it agreed upon that the prince should woo Hero for himself , and having obtained her , give her to Count Claudio .

Come , come ; let us thither : this may prove food to my displeasure . That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow : if I can cross him any way , I bless myself every way . You are both sure , and will assist me ?

To the death , my lord .

To the death , my lord .

Let us to the great supper : their cheer is the greater that I am subdued . Would the cook were of my mind ! Shall we go prove what's to be done ?

We'll wait upon your lordship .

Was not Count John here at supper ?

I saw him not .

How tartly that gentleman looks ! I never can see him but I am heart-burned an hour after .

He is of a very melancholy disposition .

He were an excellent man that were made just in the mid-way between him and Benedick : the one is too like an image , and says nothing ; and the other too like my lady's eldest son , evermore tattling .

Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's mouth , and half Count John's melancholy in Signior Benedick's face ,

With a good leg and a good foot , uncle , and money enough in his purse , such a man would win any woman in the world , if a' could get her good will .

By my troth , niece , thou wilt never get thee a husband , if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue .

In faith , she's too curst .

Too curst is more than curst : I shall lessen God's sending that way ; for it is said , 'God sends a curst cow short horns ;' but to a cow too curst he sends none .

So , by being too curst , God will send you no horns ?

Just , if he send me no husband ; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening . Lord ! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face : I had rather lie in the woollen .

You may light on a husband that hath no beard .

What should I do with him ? dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman ? He that hath a beard is more than a youth , and he that hath no beard is less than a man ; and he that is more than a youth is not for me ; and he that is less than a man , I am not for him : therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward , and lead his apes into hell .

Well then , go you into hell ?

No ; but to the gate ; and there will the devil meet me , like an old cuckold , with horns on his head , and say , 'Get you to heaven , Beatrice , get you to heaven ; here's no place for you maids :' so deliver I up my apes , and away to Saint Peter for the heavens ; he shows me where the bachelors sit , and there live we as merry as the day is long .

Well , niece , I trust you will be ruled by your father .

Yes , faith ; it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy , and say , 'Father , as it please you :' but yet for all that , cousin , let him be a handsome fellow , or else make another curtsy , and say , 'Father , as it please me .' 

Well , niece , I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband .

Not till God make men of some other metal than earth . Would it not grieve a woman to be over-mastered with a piece of valiant dust ? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl ? No , uncle , I'll none : Adam's sons are my brethren ; and truly , I hold it a sin to match in my kindred .

Daughter , remember what I told you : if the prince do solicit you in that kind , you know your answer .

The fault will be in the music , cousin , if you be not wooed in good time : if the prince be too important , tell him there is measure in everything , and so dance out the answer . For , hear me , Hero : wooing , wedding , and repenting , is as a Scotch jig , a measure , and a cinque-pace : the first suit is hot and hasty , like a Scotch jig , and full as fantastical ; the wedding , mannerly-modest , as a measure , full of state and ancientry ; and then comes Repentance , and , with his bad legs , falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster , till he sink into his grave .

Cousin , you apprehend passing shrewdly .

I have a good eye , uncle : I can see a church by daylight .

The revellers are entering , brother : make good room .

Lady , will you walk about with your friend ?

So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing , I am yours for the walk ; and especially when I walk away .

With me in your company ?

I may say so , when I please .

And when please you to say so ?

When I like your favour ; for God defend the lute should be like the case !

My visor is Philemon's roof ; within the house is Jove .

Why , then , your visor should be thatch'd .

Speak low , if you speak love .


Well , I would you did like me .

So would not I , for your own sake ; for I have many ill qualities .

Which is one ?

I say my prayers aloud .

I love you the better ; the hearers may cry Amen .

God match me with a good dancer !

Amen .

And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done ! Answer , clerk .

No more words : the clerk is answered .

I know you well enough : you are Signior Antonio .

At a word , I am not .

I know you by the waggling of your head .

To tell you true , I counterfeit him .

You could never do him so ill-well , unless you were the very man . Here's his dry hand up and down : you are he , you are he .

At a word , I am not .

Come , come ; do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit ? Can virtue hide itself ? Go to , mum , you are he : graces will appear , and there's an end .

Will you not tell me who told you so ?

No , you shall pardon me .

Nor will you not tell me who you are ?

Not now .

That I was disdainful , and that I had my good wit out of the 'Hundred Merry Tales .' Well , this was Signior Benedick that said so .

What's he ?

I am sure you know him well enough .

Not I , believe me .

Did he never make you laugh ?

I pray you , what is he ?

Why , he is the prince's jester : a very dull fool ; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders : none but libertines delight in him ; and the commendation is not in his wit , but in his villany ; for he both pleases men and angers them , and then they laugh at him and beat him . I am sure he is in the fleet : I would he had boarded me !

When I know the gentleman , I'll tell him what you say .

Do , do : he'll but break a comparison or two on me ; which , peradventure not marked or not laughed at , strikes him into melancholy ; and then there's a partridge wing saved , for the fool will eat no supper that night .

We must follow the leaders .

In every good thing .

Nay , if they lead to any ill , I will leave them at the next turning .


Sure my brother is amorous on Hero , and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it . The ladies follow her and but one visor remains .

And that is Claudio : I know him by his bearing .

Are you not Signior Benedick ?

You know me well ; I am he .

Signior , you are very near my brother in his love : he is enamoured on Hero ; I pray you , dissuade him from her ; she is no equal for his birth : you may do the part of an honest man in it .

How know you he loves her ?

I heard him swear his affection .

So did I too ; and he swore he would marry her to-night .

Come , let us to the banquet .


Thus answer I in name of Benedick ,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio .
'Tis certain so ; the prince woos for himself .
Friendship is constant in all other things 
Save in the office and affairs of love :
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues ;
Let every eye negotiate for itself 
And trust no agent ; for beauty is a witch 
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood .
This is an accident of hourly proof ,
Which I mistrusted not . Farewell , therefore , Hero !


Count Claudio ?

Yea , the same .

Come , will you go with me ?

Whither ?

Even to the next willow , about your own business , count . What fashion will you wear the garland of ? About your neck , like a usurer's chain ? or under your arm , like a lieutenant's scarf ? You must wear it one way , for the prince hath got your Hero .

I wish him joy of her .

Why , that's spoken like an honest drovier : so they sell bullocks . But did you think the prince would have served you thus ?

I pray you , leave me .

Ho ! now you strike like the blind man : 'twas the boy that stole your meat , and you'll beat the post .

If it will not be , I'll leave you .


Alas ! poor hurt fowl . Now will he creep into sedges . But , that my lady Beatrice should know me , and not know me ! The prince's fool ! Ha ! it may be I go under that title because I am merry . Yea , but so I am apt to do myself wrong ; I am not so reputed : it is the base though bitter disposition of Beatrice that puts the world into her person , and so gives me out . Well , I'll be revenged as I may .


Now , signior , where's the count ? Did you see him ?

Troth , my lord , I have played the part of Lady Fame . I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren . I told him , and I think I told him true , that your Grace had got the good will of this young lady ; and I offered him my company to a willow tree , either to make him a garland , as being forsaken , or to bind him up a rod , as being worthy to be whipped .

To be whipped ! What's his fault ?

The flat transgression of a school-boy , who , being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest , shows it his companion , and he steals it .

Wilt thou make a trust a transgression ? The transgression is in the stealer .

Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made , and the garland too ; for the garland he might have worn himself , and the rod he might have bestowed on you , who , as I take it , have stolen his bird's nest .

I will but teach them to sing , and restore them to the owner .

If their singing answer your saying , by my faith , you say honestly .

The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you : the gentleman that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you .

O ! she misused me past the endurance of a block : an oak but with one green leaf on it , would have answered her : my very visor began to assume life and scold with her . She told me , not thinking I had been myself , that I was the prince's jester ; that I was duller than a great thaw ; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me , that I stood like a man at a mark , with a whole army shooting at me . She speaks poniards , and every word stabs : if her breath were as terrible as her terminations , there were no living near her ; she would infect to the north star . I would not marry her , though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed : she would have made Hercules have turned spit , yea , and have cleft his club to make the fire too . Come , talk not of her ; you shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel . I would to God some scholar would conjure her , for certainly , while she is here , a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary ; and people sin upon purpose because they would go thither ; so , indeed , all disquiet , horror and perturbation follow her .


Look ! here she comes .

Will your Grace command me any service to the world's end ? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on ; I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the furthest inch of Asia ; bring you the length of Prester John's foot ; fetch you a hair off the Great Cham's beard ; do you any embassage to the Pigmies , rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy . You have no employment for me ?

None , but to desire your good company .

O God , sir , here's a dish I love not : I cannot endure my Lady Tongue .


Come , lady , come ; you have lost the heart of Signior Benedick .

Indeed , my lord , he lent it me awhile ; and I gave him use for it , a double heart for a single one : marry , once before he won it of me with false dice , therefore your Grace may well say I have lost it .

You have put him down , lady , you have put him down .

So I would not he should do me , my lord , lest I should prove the mother of fools . I have brought Count Claudio , whom you sent me to seek .

Why , how now , count ! wherefore are you sad ?

Not sad , my lord .

How then ? Sick ?

Neither , my lord .

The count is neither sad , nor sick , nor merry , nor well ; but civil count , civil as an orange , and something of that jealous complexion .

I' faith , lady , I think your blazon to be true ; though , I'll be sworn , if he be so , his conceit is false . Here , Claudio , I have wooed in thy name , and fair Hero is won ; I have broke with her father , and , his good will obtained ; name the day of marriage , and God give thee joy !

Count , take of me my daughter , and with her my fortunes : his Grace hath made the match , and all grace say Amen to it !

Speak , count , 'tis your cue .

Silence is the perfectest herald of joy : I were but little happy , if I could say how much . Lady , as you are mine , I am yours : I give away myself for you and dote upon the exchange .

Speak , cousin ; or , if you cannot , stop his mouth with a kiss , and let not him speak neither .

In faith , lady , you have a merry heart .

Yea , my lord ; I thank it , poor fool , it keeps on the windy side of care . My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart .

And so she doth , cousin .

Good Lord , for alliance ! Thus goes every one to the world but I , and I am sunburnt . I may sit in a corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband !

Lady Beatrice , I will get you one .

I would rather have one of your father's getting . Hath your Grace ne'er a brother like you ? Your father got excellent husbands , if a maid could come by them .

Will you have me , lady ?

No , my lord , unless I might have another for working days : your Grace is too costly to wear every day . But , I beseech your Grace , pardon me ; I was born to speak all mirth and no matter .

Your silence most offends me , and to be merry best becomes you ; for , out of question , you were born in a merry hour .

No , sure , my lord , my mother cried ; but then there was a star danced , and under that was I born . Cousins , God give you joy !

Niece , will you look to those things I told you of ?

I cry you mercy , uncle . By your Grace's pardon .


By my troth , a pleasant-spirited lady .

There's little of the melancholy element in her , my lord : she is never sad but when she sleeps ; and not ever sad then , for I have heard my daughter say , she hath often dreamed of unhappiness and waked herself with laughing .

She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband .

O ! by no means : she mocks all her wooers out of suit .

She were an excellent wife for Benedick .

O Lord ! my lord , if they were but a week married , they would talk themselves mad .

Count Claudio , when mean you to go to church ?

To-morrow , my lord . Time goes on crutches till love have all his rites .

Not till Monday , my dear son , which is hence a just seven-night ; and a time too brief too , to have all things answer my mind .

Come , you shake the head at so long a breathing ; but , I warrant thee , Claudio , the time shall not go dully by us . I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules' labours , which is , to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other . I would fain have it a match ; and I doubt not but to fashion it , if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction .

My lord , I am for you , though it cost me ten nights' watchings .

And I , my lord .

And you too , gentle Hero ?

I will do any modest office , my lord , to help my cousin to a good husband .

And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know . Thus far can I praise him ; he is of a noble strain , of approved valour , and confirmed honesty . I will teach you how to humour your cousin , that she shall fall in love with Benedick ; and I , with your two helps , will so practise on Benedick that , in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach , he shall fall in love with Beatrice . If we can do this , Cupid is no longer an archer : his glory shall be ours , for we are the only love-gods . Go in with me , and I will tell you my drift .


It is so ; the Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato .

Yea , my lord ; but I can cross it .

Any bar , any cross , any impediment will be medicinable to me : I am sick in displeasure to him , and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges evenly with mine . How canst thou cross this marriage ?

Not honestly , my lord ; but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me .

Show me briefly how .

I think I told your lordship , a year since , how much I am in the favour of Margaret , the waiting-gentlewoman to Hero .

I remember .

I can , at any unseasonable instant of the night , appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber-window .

What life is in that , to be the death of this marriage ?

The poison of that lies in you to temper . Go you to the prince your brother ; spare not to tell him , that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned Claudio ,whose estimation do you mightily hold up ,to a contaminated stale , such a one as Hero .

What proof shall I make of that ?

Proof enough to misuse the prince , to vex Claudio , to undo Hero , and kill Leonato .
Look you for any other issue ?

Only to despite them , I will endeavour any thing .

Go , then ; find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone : tell them that you know that Hero loves me ; intend a kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio , as in love of your brother's honour , who hath made this match , and his friend's reputation , who is thus like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid ,that you have discovered thus . They will scarcely believe this without trial : offer them instances , which shall bear no less likelihood than to see me at her chamber-window , hear me call Margaret Hero ; hear Margaret term me Claudio ; and bring them to see this the very night before the intended wedding : for in the meantime I will so fashion the matter that Hero shall be absent ; and there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty , that jealousy shall be called assurance , and all the preparation overthrown .

Grow this to what adverse issue it can , I will put it in practice . Be cunning in the working this , and thy fee is a thousand ducats .

Be you constant in the accusation , and my cunning shall not shame me .

I will presently go learn their day of marriage .


Boy !


Signior ?

In my chamber-window lies a book ; bring it hither to me in the orchard .

I am here already , sir .

I know that ; but I would have thee hence , and here again . [Exit Boy .] I do much wonder that one man , seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours to love , will , after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others , become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love : and such a man is Claudio . I have known , when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife ; and now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe : I have known , when he would have walked ten mile afoot to see a good armour ; and now will he lie ten nights awake , carving the fashion of a new doublet . He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose , like an honest man and a soldier ; and now is he turned orthographer ; his words are a very fantastical banquet , just so many strange dishes . May I be so converted , and see with these eyes ? I cannot tell ; I think not : I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster ; but I'll take my oath on it , till he have made an oyster of me , he shall never make me such a fool . One woman is fair , yet I am well ; another is wise , yet I am well ; another virtuous , yet I am well ; but till all graces be in one woman , one woman shall not come in my grace . Rich she shall be , that's certain ; wise , or I'll none ; virtuous , or I'll never cheapen her ; fair , or I'll never look on her ; mild , or come not near me ; noble , or not I for an angel ; of good discourse , an excellent musician , and her hair shall be of what colour it please God . Ha ! the prince and Monsieur Love ! I will hide me in the arbour .

Come , shall we hear this music ?

Yea , my good lord . How still the evening is ,
As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony !

See you where Benedick hath hid himself ?

O ! very well , my lord : the music ended ,
We'll fit the kid-fox with a penny-worth .

Come , Balthazar , we'll hear that song again .

O ! good my lord , tax not so bad a voice 
To slander music any more than once .

It is the witness still of excellency ,
To put a strange face on his own perfection .
I pray thee , sing , and let me woo no more .

Because you talk of wooing , I will sing ;
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit 
To her he thinks not worthy ; yet he woos ;
Yet will he swear he loves .

Nay , pray thee , come ;
Or if thou wilt hold longer argument ,
Do it in notes .

Note this before my notes ;
There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting .

Why these are very crotchets that he speaks ;
Notes , notes , forsooth , and nothing !


Now , divine air ! now is his soul ravished ! Is it not strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men's bodies ? Well , a horn for my money , when all's done .

Sigh no more , ladies , sigh no more ,
Men were deceivers ever ;
One foot in sea , and one on shore ,
To one thing constant never .
Then sigh not so ,
But let them go ,
And be you blithe and bonny ,
Converting all your sounds of woe 
Into Hey nonny , nonny .
Sing no more ditties , sing no mo 
Of dumps so dull and heavy ;
The fraud of men was ever so ,
Since summer first was leavy .
Then sigh not so ,
But let them go ,
And be you blithe and bonny ,
Converting all your sounds of woe 
Into Hey nonny , nonny .


By my troth , a good song .

And an ill singer , my lord .

Ha , no , no , faith ; thou singest well enough for a shift .

An he had been a dog that should have howled thus , they would have hanged him ; and I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief . I had as lief have heard the night-raven , come what plague could have come after it .

Yea , marry ; dost thou hear , Balthazar ? I pray thee , get us some excellent music , for to-morrow night we would have it at the Lady Hero's chamber-window .

The best I can , my lord .

Do so : farewell .

Come hither , Leonato : what was it you told me of to-day , that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signior Benedick ?

O ! ay :

Stalk on , stalk on ; the fowl sits . I did never think that lady would have loved any man .

No , nor I neither ; but most wonderful that she should so dote on Signior Benedick , whom she hath in all outward behaviours seemed ever to abhor .

Is't possible ? Sits the wind in that corner ?

By my troth , my lord , I cannot tell what to think of it but that she loves him with an enraged affection : it is past the infinite of thought .

May be she doth but counterfeit .

Faith , like enough .

O God ! counterfeit ! There was never counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it .

Why , what effects of passion shows she ?

Bait the hook well : this fish will bite .

What effects , my lord ? She will sit you ;

You heard my daughter tell you how .

She did , indeed .

How , how , I pray you ? You amaze me : I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection .

I would have sworn it had , my lord ; especially against Benedick .

I should think this a gull , but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it : knavery cannot , sure , hide itself in such reverence .

He hath ta'en the infection : hold it up .

Hath she made her affection known to Benedick ?

No ; and swears she never will : that's her torment .

'Tis true , indeed ; so your daughter says : 'Shall I ,' says she , 'that have so oft encountered him with scorn , write to him that I love him ?' 

This says she now when she is beginning to write to him ; for she'll be up twenty times a night , and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a sheet of paper : my daughter tells us all .

Now you talk of a sheet of paper , I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of .

O ! when she had writ it , and was reading it over , she found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet ?

That .

O ! she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence ; railed at herself , that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her : 'I measure him ,' says she , 'by my own spirit ; for I should flout him , if he writ to me ; yea , though I love him , I should .' 

Then down upon her knees she falls , weeps , sobs , beats her heart , tears her hair , prays , curses ; 'O sweet Benedick ! God give me patience !' 

She doth indeed ; my daughter says so ; and the ecstasy hath so much overborne her , that my daughter is sometimes afeard she will do a desperate outrage to herself . It is very true .

It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other , if she will not discover it .

To what end ? he would but make a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse .

An he should , it were an alms to hang him . She's an excellent sweet lady , and , out of all suspicion , she is virtuous .

And she is exceeding wise .

In everything but in loving Benedick .

O ! my lord , wisdom and blood combating in so tender a body , we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory . I am sorry for her , as I have just cause , being her uncle and her guardian .

I would she had bestowed this dotage on me ; I would have daffed all other respects and made her half myself . I pray you , tell Benedick of it , and hear what a' will say .

Were it good , think you ?

Hero thinks surely she will die ; for she says she will die if he love her not , and she will die ere she make her love known , and she will die if he woo her , rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness .

She doth well : if she should make tender of her love , 'tis very possible he'll scorn it ; for the man ,as you know all ,hath a contemptible spirit .

he is a very proper man .

He hath indeed a good outward happiness .

'Fore God , and in my mind , very wise .

He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit .

And I take him to be valiant .

As Hector , I assure you : and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise ; for either he avoids them with great discretion , or undertakes them with a most Christian-like fear .

If he do fear God , a' must necessarily keep peace : if he break the peace , he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling .

And so will he do ; for the man doth fear God , howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he will make . Well , I am sorry for your niece . Shall we go seek Benedick , and tell him of her love ?

Never tell him , my lord : let her wear it out with good counsel .

Nay , that's impossible : she may wear her heart out first .

Well , we will hear further of it by your daughter : let it cool the while . I love Benedick well , and I could wish he would modestly examine himself , to see how much he is unworthy to have so good a lady .

My lord , will you walk ? dinner is ready .

If he do not dote on her upon this , I will never trust my expectation .

Let there be the same net spread for her ; and that must your daughter and her gentlewoman carry . The sport will be , when they hold one an opinion of another's dotage , and no such matter : that's the scene that I would see , which will be merely a dumbshow . Let us send her to call him in to dinner .


This can be no trick : the conference was sadly borne . They have the truth of this from Hero . They seem to pity the lady : it seems , her affections have their full bent . Love me ! why , it must be requited . I hear how I am censured : they say I will bear myself proudly , if I perceive the love come from her ; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection . I did never think to marry : I must not seem proud : happy are they that hear their detractions , and can put them to mending . They say the lady is fair : 'tis a truth , I can bear them witness ; and virtuous : 'tis so , I cannot reprove it ; and wise , but for loving me : by my troth , it is no addition to her wit , nor no great argument of her folly , for I will be horribly in love with her . I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me , because I have railed so long against marriage ; but doth not the appetite alter ? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age . Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour ? No ; the world must be peopled . When I said I would die a bachelor , I did not think I should live till I were married . Here comes Beatrice . By this day ! she's a fair lady : I do spy some marks of love in her .


Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner .

Fair Beatrice , I thank you for your pains .

I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me : if it had been painful , I would not have come .

You take pleasure then in the message ?

Yea , just so much as you may take upon a knife's point , and choke a daw withal . You have no stomach , signior : fare you well .


Ha ! 'Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner ,' there's a double meaning in that . 'I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me ,' that's as much as to say , Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks . If I do not take pity of her , I am a villain ; if I do not love her , I am a Jew . I will go get her picture .

Good Margaret , run thee to the parlour ;
There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice 
Proposing with the prince and Claudio :
Whisper her ear , and tell her , I and Ursula 
Walk in the orchard , and our whole discourse 
Is all of her ; say that thou overheard'st us ,
And bid her steal into the pleached bower ,
Where honey-suckles , ripen'd by the sun ,
Forbid the sun to enter ; like favourites ,
Made proud by princes , that advance their pride 
Against that power that bred it . There will she hide her ,
To listen our propose . This is thy office ;
Bear thee well in it and leave us alone .

I'll make her come , I warrant you , presently .


Now , Ursula , when Beatrice doth come ,
As we do trace this alley up and down ,
Our talk must only be of Benedick :
When I do name him , let it be thy part 
To praise him more than ever man did merit .
My talk to thee must be how Benedick 
Is sick in love with Beatrice : of this matter 
Is little Cupid's crafty arrow made ,
That only wounds by hearsay .


Now begin ;
For look where Beatrice , like a lapwing , runs 

Close by the ground , to hear our conference .

The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish 
Cut with her golden oars the silver stream ,
And greedily devour the treacherous bait :
So angle we for Beatrice ; who even now 
Is couched in the woodbine coverture .
Fear you not my part of the dialogue .

Then go we near her , that her ear lose nothing 
Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it .

No , truly , Ursula , she is too disdainful ;
I know her spirits are as coy and wild 
As haggerds of the rock .

But are you sure 
That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely ?

So says the prince , and my new-trothed lord .

And did they bid you tell her of it , madam ?

They did entreat me to acquaint her of it ;
But I persuaded them , if they lov'd Benedick ,
To wish him wrestle with affection ,
And never to let Beatrice know of it .

Why did you so ? Doth not the gentleman 
Deserve as full as fortunate a bed 
As ever Beatrice shall couch upon ?

O god of love ! I know he doth deserve 
As much as may be yielded to a man ;
But nature never fram'd a woman's heart 
Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice ;
Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes ,
Misprising what they look on , and her wit 
Values itself so highly , that to her 
All matter else seems weak . She cannot love ,
Nor take no shape nor project of affection ,
She is so self-endear'd .

Sure , I think so ;
And therefore certainly it were not good 
She knew his love , lest she make sport at it .

Why , you speak truth . I never yet saw man ,
How wise , how noble , young , how rarely featur'd ,
But she would spell him backward : if fair-fac'd ,
She would swear the gentleman should be her sister ;
If black , why , Nature , drawing of an antick ,
Made a foul blot ; if tall , a lance ill-headed ;
If low , an agate very vilely cut ;
If speaking , why , a vane blown with all winds ;
If silent , why , a block moved with none .
So turns she every man the wrong side out ,
And never gives to truth and virtue that 
Which simpleness and merit purchaseth .

Sure , sure , such carping is not commendable .

No ; not to be so odd and from all fashions 
As Beatrice is , cannot be commendable .
But who dare tell her so ? If I should speak ,
She would mock me into air : O ! she would laugh me 
Out of myself , press me to death with wit .
Therefore let Benedick , like cover'd fire ,
Consume away in sighs , waste inwardly :
It were a better death than die with mocks ,
Which is as bad as die with tickling .

Yet tell her of it : hear what she will say .

No ; rather I will go to Benedick ,
And counsel him to fight against his passion .
And , truly , I'll devise some honest slanders 
To stain my cousin with . One doth not know 
How much an ill word may empoison liking .

O ! do not do your cousin such a wrong .
She cannot be so much without true judgment ,
Having so swift and excellent a wit 
As she is priz'd to have ,as to refuse 
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick .

He is the only man of Italy ,
Always excepted my dear Claudio .

I pray you , be not angry with me , madam ,
Speaking my fancy : Signior Benedick ,
For shape , for bearing , argument and valour ,
Goes foremost in report through Italy .

Indeed , he hath an excellent good name .

His excellence did earn it , ere he had it .
When are you married , madam ?

Why , every day , to-morrow . Come , go in :
I'll show thee some attires , and have thy counsel 
Which is the best to furnish me to-morrow .

She's lim'd , I warrant you : we have caught her , madam .

If it prove so , then loving goes by haps :
Some Cupid kills with arrows , some with traps .


What fire is in mine ears ? Can this be true ?
Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much ?
Contempt , farewell ! and maiden pride , adieu !
No glory lives behind the back of such .
And , Benedick , love on ; I will requite thee ,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand :
If thou dost love , my kindness shall incite thee 
To bind our loves up in a holy band ;
For others say thou dost deserve , and I 
Believe it better than reportingly .


I do but stay till your marriage be consummate , and then go I toward Arragon .

I'll bring you thither , my lord , if you'll vouchsafe me .

Nay , that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage , as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it . I will only be bold with Benedick for his company ; for , from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot , he is all mirth : he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string , and the little hangman dare not shoot at him . He hath a heart as sound as a bell , and his tongue is the clapper ; for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks .

Gallants , I am not as I have been .

So say I : methinks you are sadder .

I hope he be in love .

Hang him , truant ! there's no true drop of blood in him , to be truly touched with love . If he be sad , he wants money .

I have the tooth-ache .

Draw it .

Hang it .

You must hang it first , and draw it afterwards .

What ! sigh for the tooth-ache ?

Where is but a humour or a worm ?

Well , every one can master a grief but he that has it .

Yet say I , he is in love .

There is no appearance of fancy in him , unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises ; as , to be a Dutchman to-day , a Frenchman to-morrow , or in the shape of two countries at once , as a German from the waist downward , all slops , and a Spaniard from the hip upward , no doublet . Unless he have a fancy to this foolery , as it appears he hath , he is no fool for fancy , as you would have it appear he is .

If he be not in love with some woman , there is no believing old signs : a' brushes his hat a mornings ; what should that bode ?

Hath any man seen him at the barber's ?

No , but the barber's man hath been seen with him ; and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls .

Indeed he looks younger than he did , by the loss of a beard .

Nay , a' rubs himself with civet : can you smell him out by that ?

That's as much as to say the sweet youth's in love .

The greatest note of it is his melancholy .

And when was he wont to wash his face ?

Yea , or to paint himself ? for the which , I hear what they say of him .

Nay , but his jesting spirit ; which is now crept into a lute-string , and new-governed by stops .

Indeed , that tells a heavy tale for him . Conclude , conclude he is in love .

Nay , but I know who loves him .

That would I know too : I warrant , one that knows him not .

Yes , and his ill conditions ; and in despite of all , dies for him .

She shall be buried with her face upwards .

Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache .
Old signior , walk aside with me : I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you , which these hobby-horses must not hear .


For my life , to break with him about Beatrice .

'Tis even so . Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice , and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet .


My lord and brother , God save you !

Good den , brother .

If your leisure served , I would speak with you .

In private ?

If it please you ; yet Count Claudio may hear , for what I would speak of concerns him .

What's the matter ?

Means your lordship to be married to-morrow ?

You know he does .

I know not that , when he knows what I know .

If there be any impediment , I pray you discover it .

You may think I love you not : let that appear hereafter , and aim better at me by that I now will manifest . For my brother , I think he holds you well , and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage ; surely suit ill-spent , and labour ill bestowed !

Why , what's the matter ?

I came hither to tell you ; and circumstances shortened ,for she hath been too long a talking of ,the lady is disloyal .

Who , Hero ?

Even she : Leonato's Hero , your Hero , every man's Hero .

Disloyal ?

The word's too good to paint out her wickedness ; I could say , she were worse : think you of a worse title , and I will fit her to it . Wonder not till further warrant : go but with me to-night , you shall see her chamber-window entered , even the night before her wedding-day : if you love her then , to-morrow wed her ; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind .

May this be so ?

I will not think it .

If you dare not trust that you see , confess not that you know . If you will follow me , I will show you enough ; and when you have seen more and heard more , proceed accordingly .

If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow , in the congregation , where I should wed , there will I shame her .

And , as I wooed for thee to obtain her , I will join with thee to disgrace her .

I will disparage her no further till you are my witnesses : bear it coldly but till midnight , and let the issue show itself .

O day untowardly turned !

O mischief strangely thwarting !

O plague right well prevented ! So will you say when you have seen the sequel .


Are you good men and true ?

Yea , or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation , body and soul .

Nay , that were a punishment too good for them , if they should have any allegiance in them , being chosen for the prince's watch .

Well , give them their charge , neighbour Dogberry .

First , who think you the most desartless man to be constable ?

Hugh Oatcake , sir , or George Seacoal ; for they can write and read .

Come hither , neighbour Seacoal . God hath blessed you with a good name : to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune ; but to write and read comes by nature .

Both which , Master constable ,

You have : I knew it would be your answer . Well , for your favour , sir , why , give God thanks , and make no boast of it ; and for your writing and reading , let that appear when there is no need of such vanity . You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch ; therefore bear you the lanthorn . This is your charge : you shall comprehend all vagrom men ; you are to bid any man stand , in the prince's name .

How , if a' will not stand ?

Why , then , take no note of him , but let him go ; and presently call the rest of the watch together , and thank God you are rid of a knave .

If he will not stand when he is bidden , he is none of the prince's subjects .

True , and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects . You shall also make no noise in the streets : for , for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured .

We will rather sleep than talk : we know what belongs to a watch .

Why , you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman , for I cannot see how sleeping should offend ; only have a care that your bills be not stolen . Well , you are to call at all the alehouses , and bid those that are drunk get them to bed .

How if they will not ?

Why then , let them alone till they are sober : if they make you not then the better answer , you may say they are not the men you took them for .

Well , sir .

If you meet a thief , you may suspect him , by virtue of your office , to be no true man ; and , for such kind of men , the less you meddle or make with them , why , the more is for your honesty .

If we know him to be a thief , shall we not lay hands on him ?

Truly , by your office , you may ; but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled . The most peaceable way for you , if you do take a thief , is , to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company .

You have been always called a merciful man , partner .

Truly , I would not hang a dog by my will , much more a man who hath any honesty in him .

If you hear a child cry in the night , you must call to the nurse and bid her still it .

How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us ?

Why , then , depart in peace , and let the child wake her with crying ; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes , will never answer a calf when he bleats .

'Tis very true .

This is the end of the charge . You constable , are to present the prince's own person : if you meet the prince in the night , you may stay him .

Nay , by 'r lady , that I think , a' cannot .

Five shillings to one on't , with any man that knows the statues , he may stay him : marry , not without the prince be willing ; for , indeed , the watch ought to offend no man , and it is an offence to stay a man against his will .

By 'r lady , I think it be so .

Ha , ah , ha ! Well , masters , good night : an there be any matter of weight chances , call up me : keep your fellows' counsels and your own , and good night . Come , neighbour .

Well , masters , we hear our charge : let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two , and then all go to bed .

One word more , honest neighbours . I pray you , watch about Signior Leonato's door ; for the wedding being there to-morrow , there is a great coil to-night . Adieu ; be vigitant , I beseech you .

What , Conrade !

Peace ! stir not .

Conrade , I say !

Here , man , I am at thy elbow .

Mass , and my elbow itched ; I thought there would a scab follow .

I will owe thee an answer for that ; and now forward with thy tale .

Stand thee close then under this penthouse , for it drizzles rain , and I will , like a true drunkard , utter all to thee .

Some treason , masters ; yet stand close .

Therefore know , I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats .

Is it possible that any villany should be so dear ?

Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villany should be so rich ; for when rich villains have need of poor ones , poor ones may make what price they will .

I wonder at it .

That shows thou art unconfirmed . Thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet , or a hat , or a cloak , is nothing to a man .

Yes , it is apparel .

I mean , the fashion .

Yes , the fashion is the fashion .

Tush ! I may as well say the fool's the fool . But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is ?

I know that Deformed ; a' has been a vile thief this seven years ; a' goes up and down like a gentleman : I remember his name .

Didst thou not hear somebody ?

No : 'twas the vane on the house .

Seest thou not , I say , what a deformed thief this fashion is ? how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty ? sometime fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechy painting ; sometime like god Bel's priests in the old church-window ; sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry , where his cod-piece seems as massy as his club ?

All this I see , and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man . But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too , that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion ?

Not so , neither ; but know , that I have to-night wooed Margaret , the Lady Hero's gentlewoman , by the name of Hero : she leans me out at her mistress' chamber-window , bids me a thousand times good night ,I tell this tale vilely :I should first tell thee how the prince , Claudio , and my master , planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John , saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter .

And thought they Margaret was Hero ?

Two of them did , the prince and Claudio ; but the devil my master , knew she was Margaret ; and partly by his oaths , which first possessed them , partly by the dark night , which did deceive them , but chiefly by my villany , which did confirm any slander that Don John had made , away went Claudio enraged ; swore he would meet her , as he was appointed , next morning at the temple , and there , before the whole congregation , shame her with what he saw o'er night , and send her home again without a husband .

We charge you in the prince's name , stand !

Call up the right Master constable . We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth .

And one Deformed is one of them : I know him , a' wears a lock .

Masters , masters !

You'll be made bring Deformed forth , I warrant you .

Masters ,

Never speak : we charge you let us obey you to go with us .

We are like to prove a goodly commodity , being taken up of these men's bills .

A commodity in question , I warrant you . Come , we'll obey you .


Good Ursula , wake my cousin Beatrice , and desire her to rise .

I will , lady .

And bid her come hither .

Well .


Troth , I think your other rabato were better .

No , pray thee , good Meg , I'll wear this .

By my troth's not so good ; and I warrant your cousin will say so .

My cousin's a fool , and thou art another : I'll wear none but this .

I like the new tire within excellently , if the hair were a thought browner ; and your gown's a most rare fashion , i' faith . I saw the Duchess of Milan's gown that they praise so .

O ! that exceeds , they say .

By my troth's but a night-gown in respect of yours : cloth o' gold , and cuts , and laced with silver , set with pearls , down sleeves , side sleeves , and skirts round , underborne with a bluish tinsel ; but for a fine , quaint , graceful , and excellent fashion , yours is worth ten on't .

God give me joy to wear it ! for my heart is exceeding heavy .

'Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man .

Fie upon thee ! art not ashamed ?

Of what , lady ? of speaking honourably ? is not marriage honourable in a beggar ? Is not your lord honourable without marriage ? I think you would have me say , 'saving your reverence , a husband :' an bad thinking do not wrest true speaking , I'll offend nobody . Is there any harm in 'the heavier for a husband ?' None , I think , an it be the right husband and the right wife ; otherwise 'tis light , and not heavy : ask my Lady Beatrice else ; here she comes .


Good morrow , coz .

Good morrow , sweet Hero .

Why , how now ! do you speak in the sick tune ?

I am out of all other tune , methinks .

Clap's into 'Light o' love ;' that goes without a burden : do you sing it , and I'll dance it .

Ye light o' love with your heels ! then , if your husband have stables enough , you'll see he shall lack no barns .

O illegitimate construction ! I scorn that with my heels .

'Tis almost five o'clock , cousin ; 'tis time you were ready . By my troth , I am exceeding ill . Heigh-ho !

For a hawk , a horse , or a husband ?

For the letter that begins them all , H .

Well , an you be not turned Turk , there's no more sailing by the star .

What means the fool , trow ?

Nothing I ; but God send every one their heart's desire !

These gloves the count sent me ; they are an excellent perfume .

I am stuffed , cousin , I cannot smell .

A maid , and stuffed ! there's goodly catching of cold .

O , God help me ! God help me ! how long have you professed apprehension ?

Ever since you left it . Doth not my wit become me rarely !

It is not seen enough , you should wear it in your cap . By my troth , I am sick .

Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus , and lay it to your heart : it is the only thing for a qualm .

There thou prick'st her with a thistle .

Benedictus ! why Benedictus ? you have some moral in this Benedictus .

Moral ! no , by my troth , I have no moral meaning ; I meant , plain holy-thistle . You may think , perchance , that I think you are in love : nay , by'r lady , I am not such a fool to think what I list ; nor I list not to think what I can ; nor , indeed , I cannot think , if I would think my heart out of thinking , that you are in love , or that you will be in love , or that you can be in love . Yet Benedick was such another , and now is he become a man : he swore he would never marry ; and yet now , in despite of his heart , he eats his meat without grudging : and how you may be converted , I know not ; but methinks you look with your eyes as other women do .

What pace is this that thy tongue keeps ?

Not a false gallop .


Madam , withdraw : the prince , the count , Signior Benedick , Don John , and all the gallants of the town , are come to fetch you to church .

Help to dress me , good coz , good Meg , good Ursula .


What would you with me , honest neighbour ?

Marry , sir , I would have some confidence with you , that decerns you nearly .

Brief , I pray you ; for you see it is a busy time with me .

Marry , this it is , sir .

Yes , in truth it is , sir .

What is it , my good friends ?

Goodman Verges , sir , speaks a little off the matter : an old man , sir , and his wits are not so blunt , as , God help , I would desire they were ; but , in faith , honest as the skin between his brows .

Yes , I thank God , I am as honest as any man living , that is an old man and no honester than I .

Comparisons are odorous : palabras , neighbour Verges .

Neighbours , you are tedious .

It pleases your worship to say so , but we are the poor duke's officers ; but truly , for mine own part , if I were as tedious as a king , I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship .

All thy tediousness on me ! ha ?

Yea , an't were a thousand pound more than 'tis ; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship , as of any man in the city , and though I be but a poor man , I am glad to hear it .

And so am I .

I would fain know what you have to say .

Marry , sir , our watch to-night , excepting your worship's presence , ha' ta'en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina .

A good old man , sir ; he will be talking ; as they say , 'when the age is in , the wit is out .' God help us ! it is a world to see ! Well said , i' faith , neighbour Verges : well , God's a good man ; an two men ride of a horse , one must ride behind . An honest soul , i' faith , sir ; by my troth he is , as ever broke bread : but God is to be worshipped : all men are not alike ; alas ! good neighbour .

Indeed , neighbour , he comes too short of you .

Gifts that God gives .

I must leave you .

One word , sir : our watch , sir , hath indeed comprehended two aspicious persons , and we would have them this morning examined before your worship .

Take their examination yourself , and bring it me : I am now in great haste , as may appear unto you .

It shall be suffigance .

Drink some wine ere you go : fare you well .


My lord , they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband .

I'll wait upon them : I am ready .


Go , good partner , go , get you to Francis Seacoal ; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol : we are now to examination these men .

And we must do it wisely .

We will spare for no wit , I warrant you ; here's that shall drive some of them to a non-come : only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication , and meet me at the gaol .

Come , Friar Francis , be brief : only to the plain form of marriage , and you shall recount their particular duties afterwards .

You come hither , my lord , to marry this lady ?

No .

To be married to her , friar ; you come to marry her .

Lady , you come hither to be married to this count ?

I do .

If either of you know any inward impediment , why you should not be conjoined , I charge you , on your souls , to utter it .

Know you any , Hero ?

None , my lord .

Know you any , count ?

I dare make his answer ; none .

O ! what men dare do ! what men may do ! what men daily do , not knowing what they do !

How now ! Interjections ? Why then , some be of laughing , as ah ! ha ! he !

Stand thee by , friar . Father , by your leave :
Will you with free and unconstrained soul 
Give me this maid , your daughter ?

As freely , son , as God did give her me .

And what have I to give you back whose worth 
May counterpoise this rich and precious gift ?

Nothing , unless you render her again .

Sweet prince , you learn me noble thankfulness .
There , Leonato , take her back again :
Give not this rotten orange to your friend ;
She's but the sign and semblance of her honour .
Behold ! how like a maid she blushes here .
O ! what authority and show of truth 
Can cunning sin cover itself withal .
Comes not that blood as modest evidence 
To witness simple virtue ? Would you not swear ,
All you that see her , that she were a maid ,
By these exterior shows ? But she is none :
She knows the heat of a luxurious bed ;
Her blush is guiltiness , not modesty .

What do you mean , my lord ?

Not to be married ,
Not to knit my soul to an approved wanton .

Dear my lord , if you , in your own proof ,
Have vanquish'd the resistance of her youth ,
And made defeat of her virginity ,

I know what you would say : if I have known her ,
You'll say she did embrace me as a husband ,
And so extenuate the 'forehand sin :
No , Leonato ,
I never tempted her with word too large ;
But , as a brother to his sister , show'd 
Bashful sincerity and comely love .

And seem'd I ever otherwise to you ?

Out on thee ! Seeming ! I will write against it :
You seem to me as Dian in her orb ,
As chaste as is the bud ere it be blown ;
But you are more intemperate in your blood 
Than Venus , or those pamper'd animals 
That rage in savage sensuality .

Is my lord well , that he doth speak so wide ?

Sweet prince , why speak not you ?

What should I speak ?
I stand dishonour'd , that have gone about 
To link my dear friend to a common stale .

Are these things spoken , or do I but dream ?

Sir , they are spoken , and these things are true .

This looks not like a nuptial .

True ! O God !

Leonato , stand I here ?
Is this the prince ? Is this the prince's brother ?
Is this face Hero's ? Are our eyes our own ?

All this is so ; but what of this , my lord ?

Let me but move one question to your daughter ;
And by that fatherly and kindly power 
That you have in her , bid her answer truly .

I charge thee do so , as thou art my child .

O , God defend me ! how am I beset !
What kind of catechizing call you this ?

To make you answer truly to your name .

Is it not Hero ? Who can blot that name 
With any just reproach ?

Marry , that can Hero :
Hero itself can blot out Hero's virtue .
What man was he talk'd with you yesternight 
Out at your window , betwixt twelve and one ?
Now , if you are a maid , answer to this .

I talk'd with no man at that hour , my lord .

Why , then are you no maiden . Leonato ,
I am sorry you must hear : upon mine honour ,
Myself , my brother , and this grieved count ,
Did see her , hear her , at that hour last night ,
Talk with a ruffian at her chamber-window ;
Who hath indeed , most like a liberal villain ,
Confess'd the vile encounters they have had 
A thousand times in secret .

Fie , fie ! they are not to be nam'd , my lord ,
Not to be spoke of ;
There is not chastity enough in language 
Without offence to utter them . Thus , pretty lady ,
I am sorry for thy much misgovernment .

O Hero ! what a Hero hadst thou been ,
If half thy outward graces had been plac'd 
About thy thoughts and counsels of thy heart !
But fare thee well , most foul , most fair ! farewell ,
Thou pure impiety , and impious purity !
For thee I'll lock up all the gates of love ,
And on my eyelids shall conjecture hang ,
To turn all beauty into thoughts of harm ,
And never shall it more be gracious .

Hath no man's dagger here a point for me ?


Why , how now , cousin ! wherefore sink you down ?

Come , let us go . These things , come thus to light ,
Smother her spirits up .


How doth the lady ?

Dead , I think ! help , uncle !
Hero ! why , Hero ! Uncle ! Signior Benedick !
Friar !

O Fate ! take not away thy heavy hand :
Death is the fairest cover for her shame 
That may be wish'd for .

How now , cousin Hero !

Have comfort , lady .

Dost thou look up ?

Yea ; wherefore should she not ?

Wherefore ! Why , doth not every earthly thing 
Cry shame upon her ? Could she here deny 
The story that is printed in her blood ?
Do not live , Hero ; do not ope thine eyes ;
For , did I think thou wouldst not quickly die ,
Thought I thy spirits were stronger than thy shames ,
Myself would , on the rearward of reproaches ,
Strike at thy life . Griev'd I , I had but one ?
Chid I for that at frugal nature's frame ?
O ! one too much by thee . Why had I one ?
Why ever wast thou lovely in mine eyes ?
Why had I not with charitable hand 
Took up a beggar's issue at my gates ,
Who smirched thus , and mir'd with infamy ,
I might have said , 'No part of it is mine ;
This shame derives itself from unknown loins ?' 
But mine , and mine I lov'd , and mine I prais'd ,
And mine that I was proud on , mine so much 
That I myself was to myself not mine ,
Valuing of her ; why , she O ! she is fallen 
Into a pit of ink , that the wide sea 
Hath drops too few to wash her clean again ,
And salt too little which may season give 
To her foul-tainted flesh .

Sir , sir , be patient .
For my part , I am so attir'd in wonder ,
I know not what to say .

O ! on my soul , my cousin is belied !

Lady , were you her bedfellow last night ?

No , truly , not ; although , until last night ,
I have this twelvemonth been her bedfellow .

Confirm'd , confirm'd ! O ! that is stronger made ,
Which was before barr'd up with ribs of iron .
Would the two princes lie ? and Claudio lie ,
Who lov'd her so , that , speaking of her foulness ,
Wash'd it with tears ? Hence from her ! let her die .

Hear me a little ;
For I have only been silent so long ,
And given way unto this course of fortune ,
By noting of the lady : I have mark'd 
A thousand blushing apparitions 
To start into her face ; a thousand innocent shames 
In angel whiteness bear away those blushes ;
And in her eye there hath appear'd a fire ,
To burn the errors that these princess hold 
Against her maiden truth . Call me a fool ;
Trust not my reading nor my observations ,
Which with experimental seal doth warrant 
The tenour of my book ; trust not my age ,
My reverence , calling , nor divinity ,
If this sweet lady lie not guiltless here 
Under some biting error .

Friar , it cannot be .
Thou seest that all the grace that she hath left 
Is , that she will not add to her damnation 
A sin of perjury : she not denies it .
Why seek'st thou then to cover with excuse 
That which appears in proper nakedness ?

Lady , what man is he you are accus'd of ?

They know that do accuse me , I know none ;
If I know more of any man alive 
Than that which maiden modesty doth warrant ,
Let all my sins lack mercy ! O , my father !
Prove you that any man with me convers'd 
At hours unmeet , or that I yesternight 
Maintain'd the change of words with any creature ,
Refuse me , hate me , torture me to death .

There is some strange misprision in the princes .

Two of them have the very bent of honour ;
And if their wisdoms be misled in this ,
The practice of it lives in John the bastard ,
Whose spirits toil in frame of villanies .

I know not . If they speak but truth of her ,
These hands shall tear her ; if they wrong her honour ,
The proudest of them shall well hear of it .
Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine .
Nor age so eat up my invention ,
Nor fortune made such havoc of my means ,
Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends ,
But they shall find , awak'd in such a kind ,
Both strength of limb and policy of mind ,
Ability in means and choice of friends ,
To quit me of them throughly .

Pause awhile ,
And let my counsel sway you in this case .
Your daughter here the princes left for dead ;
Let her awhile be secretly kept in ,
And publish it that she is dead indeed :
Maintain a mourning ostentation ;
And on your family's old monument 
Hang mournful epitaphs and do all rites 
That appertain unto a burial .

What shall become of this ? What will this do ?

Marry , this well carried shall on her behalf 
Change slander to remorse ; that is some good :
But not for that dream I on this strange course ,
But on this travail look for greater birth .
She dying , as it must be so maintain'd ,
Upon the instant that she was accus'd ,
Shall be lamented , pitied and excus'd 
Of every hearer ; for it so falls out 
That what we have we prize not to the worth 
Whiles we enjoy it , but being lack'd and lost ,
Why , then we rack the value , then we find 
The virtue that possession would not show us 
Whiles it was ours . So will it fare with Claudio :
When he shall hear she died upon his words ,
The idea of her life shall sweetly creep 
Into his study of imagination ,
And every lovely organ of her life 
Shall come apparell'd in more precious habit ,
More moving-delicate , and full of life 
Into the eye and prospect of his soul ,
Than when she liv'd indeed : then shall he mourn ,
If ever love had interest in his liver ,
And wish he had not so accused her ,
No , though he thought his accusation true .
Let this be so , and doubt not but success 
Will fashion the event in better shape 
Than I can lay it down in likelihood .
But if all aim but this be levell'd false ,
The supposition of the lady's death 
Will quench the wonder of her infamy :
And if it sort not well , you may conceal her ,
As best befits her wounded reputation ,
In some reclusive and religious life ,
Out of all eyes , tongues , minds , and injuries .

Signior Leonato , let the friar advise you :
And though you know my inwardness and love 
Is very much unto the prince and Claudio ,
Yet , by mine honour , I will deal in this 
As secretly and justly as your soul 
Should with your body .

Being that I flow in grief ,
The smallest twine may lead me .

'Tis well consented : presently away ;
For to strange sores strangely they strain the cure .
Come , lady , die to live : this wedding day 
Perhaps is but prolong'd : have patience and endure .


Lady Beatrice , have you wept all this while ?

Yea , and I will weep a while longer .

I will not desire that .

You have no reason ; I do it freely .

Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged .

Ah ! how much might the man deserve of me that would right her .

Is there any way to show such friendship ?

A very even way , but no such friend .

May a man do it ?

It is a man's office , but not yours .

I do love nothing in the world so well as you : is not that strange ?

As strange as the thing I know not .
It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as your , but believe me not , and yet I lie not ; I confess nothing , not I deny nothing . I am sorry for my cousin .

By my sword , Beatrice , thou lovest me .

Do not swear by it , and eat it .

I will swear by it that you love me ; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you .

Will you not eat your word ?

With no sauce that can be devised to it . I protest I love thee .

Why then , God forgive me !

What offence , sweet Beatrice ?

You have stayed me in a happy hour :
I was about to protest I loved you .

And do it with all thy heart .

I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest .

Come , bid me do anything for thee .

Kill Claudio .

Ha ! not for the wide world .

You kill me to deny it . Farewell .

Tarry , sweet Beatrice .

I am gone , though I am here : there is no love in you : nay , I pray you , let me go .

Beatrice ,

In faith , I will go .

We'll be friends first .

You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy .

Is Claudio thine enemy ?

Is he not approved in the height a villain , that hath slandered , scorned , dishonoured my kinswoman ? O ! that I were a man . What ! bear her in hand until they come to take hands , and then , with public accusation , uncovered slander , unmitigated rancour ,O God , that I were a man ! I would eat his heart in the market-place .

Hear me , Beatrice ,

Talk with a man out at a window ! a proper saying !

Nay , but Beatrice ,

Sweet Hero ! she is wronged , she is slandered , she is undone .

Beat 

Princes and counties ! Surely , a princely testimony , a goodly Count Comfect ; a sweet gallant , surely ! O ! that I were a man for his sake , or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake ! But manhood is melted into curtsies , valour into compliment , and men are only turned into tongue , and trim ones too : he is now as valiant as Hercules , that only tells a lie and swears it . I cannot be a man with wishing , therefore I will die a woman with grieving .

Tarry , good Beatrice . By this hand , I love thee .

Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it .

Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero ?

Yea , as sure as I have a thought or a soul .

Enough ! I am engaged , I will challenge him . I will kiss your hand , and so leave you . By this hand , Claudio shall render me a dear account . As you hear of me , so think of me . Go , comfort your cousin : I must say she is dead ; and so , farewell .


Is our whole dissembly appeared ?

O ! a stool and a cushion for the sexton .

Which be the malefactors ?

Marry , that am I and my partner .

Nay , that's certain : we have the exhibition to examine .

But which are the offenders that are to be examined ? let them come before Master constable .

Yea , marry , let them come before me .
What is your name , friend ?

Borachio .

Pray write down Borachio . Yours , sirrah ?

I am a gentleman , sir , and my name is Conrade .

Write down Master gentleman Conrade . Masters , do you serve God ?

Yea , sir , we hope .

Yea , sir , we hope .

Write down that they hope they serve God : and write God first ; for God defend but God should go before such villains ! Masters , it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves , and it will go near to be thought so shortly . How answer you for yourselves ?

Marry , sir , we say we are none .

A marvellous witty fellow , I assure you ; but I will go about with him . Come you hither , sirrah ; a word in your ear : sir , I say to you , it is thought you are false knaves .

Sir , I say to you we are none .

Well , stand aside . 'Fore God , they are both in a tale . Have you writ down , that they are none ?

Master constable , you go not the way to examine : you must call forth the watch that are their accusers .

Yea , marry , that's the eftest way . Let the watch come forth . Masters , I charge you , in the prince's name , accuse these men .

This man said , sir , that Don John , the prince's brother , was a villain .

Write down Prince John a villain .
Why , this is flat perjury , to call a prince's brother villain .

Master constable ,

Pray thee , fellow , peace : I do not like thy look , I promise thee .

What heard you him say else ?

Marry , that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully .

Flat burglary as ever was committed .

Yea , by the mass , that it is .

What else , fellow ?

And that Count Claudio did mean , upon his words , to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly , and not marry her .

O villain ! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this .

What else ?

This is all .

And this is more , masters , than you can deny . Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away : Hero was in this manner accused , in this very manner refused , and , upon the grief of this , suddenly died . Master constable , let these men be bound , and brought to Leonato's : I will go before and show him their examination .


Come , let them be opinioned .

Let them be in the hands 

Off , coxcomb !

God's my life ! where's the sexton ? let him write down the prince's officer coxcomb . Come , bind them . Thou naughty varlet !

Away ! you are an ass ; you are an ass .

Dost thou not suspect my place ? Dost thou not suspect my years ? O that he were here to write me down an ass ! but , masters , remember that I am an ass ; though it be not written down , yet forget not that I am an ass . No , thou villain , thou art full of piety , as shall be proved upon thee by good witness . I am a wise fellow ; and , which is more , an officer ; and , which is more , a householder ; and , which is more , as pretty a piece of flesh as any in Messina ; and one that knows the law , go to ; and a rich fellow enough , go to ; and a fellow that hath had losses ; and one that hath two gowns , and everything handsome about him . Bring him away . O that I had been writ down an ass !

If you go on thus , you will kill yourself ;
And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief 
Against yourself .

I pray thee , cease thy counsel ,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless 
As water in a sieve : give not me counsel ;
Nor let no comforter delight mine ear 
But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine :
Bring me a father that so lov'd his child ,
Whose joy of her is overwhelm'd like mine ,
And bid him speak of patience ;
Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine ,
And let it answer every strain for strain ,
As thus for thus and such a grief for such ,
In every lineament , branch , shape , and form :
If such a one will smile , and stroke his beard ;
Bid sorrow wag , cry 'hem' when he should groan ,
Patch grief with proverbs ; make misfortune drunk 
With candle-wasters ; bring him yet to me ,
And I of him will gather patience .
But there is no such man ; for , brother , men 
Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief 
Which they themselves not feel ; but , tasting it ,
Their counsel turns to passion , which before 
Would give preceptial medicine to rage ,
Fetter strong madness in a silken thread ,
Charm ache with air and agony with words .
No , no ; 'tis all men's office to speak patience 
To those that wring under the load of sorrow ,
But no man's virtue nor sufficiency 
To be so moral when he shall endure 
The like himself . Therefore give me no counsel :
My griefs cry louder than advertisement .

Therein do men from children nothing differ .

I pray thee , peace ! I will be flesh and blood ;
For there was never yet philosopher 
That could endure the toothache patiently ,
However they have writ the style of gods 
And made a push at chance and sufferance .

Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself ;
Make those that do offend you suffer too .

There thou speak'st reason : nay , I will do so .
My soul doth tell me Hero is belied ;
And that shall Claudio know ; so shall the prince ,
And all of them that thus dishonour her .

Here come the prince and Claudio hastily .


Good den , good den .

Good day to both of you .

Hear you , my lords ,

We have some haste , Leonato .

Some haste , my lord ! well , fare you well , my lord :
Are you so hasty now ?well , all is one .

Nay , do not quarrel with us , good old man .

If he could right himself with quarrelling ,
Some of us would lie low .

Who wrongs him ?

Marry , thou dost wrong me ; thou dissembler , thou .
Nay , never lay thy hand upon thy sword ;
I fear thee not .

Marry , beshrew my hand ,
If it should give your age such cause of fear .
In faith , my hand meant nothing to my sword .

Tush , tush , man ! never fleer and jest at me :
I speak not like a dotard nor a fool ,
As , under privilege of age , to brag 
What I have done being young , or what would do ,
Were I not old . Know , Claudio , to thy head ,
Thou hast so wrong'd mine innocent child and me 
That I am forc'd to lay my reverence by ,
And , with grey hairs and bruise of many days ,
Do challenge thee to trial of a man .
I say thou hast belied mine innocent child :
Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart ,
And she lies buried with her ancestors ;
O ! in a tomb where never scandal slept ,
Save this of hers , fram'd by thy villany !

My villany ?

Thine , Claudio ; thine , I say .

You say not right , old man .

My lord , my lord ,
I'll prove it on his body , if he dare ,
Despite his nice fence and his active practice ,
His May of youth and bloom of lustihood .

Away ! I will not have to do with you .

Canst thou so daff me ? Thou hast kill'd my child ;
If thou kill'st me , boy , thou shalt kill a man .

He shall kill two of us , and men indeed :
But that's no matter ; let him kill one first :
Win me and wear me ; let him answer me .
Come , follow me , boy ; come , sir boy , come , follow me .
Sir boy , I'll whip you from your foining fence ;
Nay , as I am a gentleman , I will .

Brother ,

Content yourself . God knows I lov'd my niece ;
And she is dead , slander'd to death by villains ,
That dare as well answer a man indeed 
As I dare take a serpent by the tongue .
Boys , apes , braggarts , Jacks , milksops !

Brother Antony ,

Hold you content . What , man ! I know them , yea ,
And what they weigh , even to the utmost scruple ,
Scrambling , out-facing , fashion-monging boys ,
That lie and cog and flout , deprave and slander ,
Go antickly , show outward hideousness ,
And speak off half a dozen dangerous words ,
How they might hurt their enemies , if they durst ;
And this is all !

But , brother Antony ,

Come , 'tis no matter :
Do not you meddle , let me deal in this .

Gentlemen both , we will not wake your patience .
My heart is sorry for your daughter's death ;
But , on my honour , she was charg'd with nothing 
But what was true and very full of proof .

My lord , my lord 

I will not hear you .

No ?
Come , brother , away . I will be heard .

And shall , or some of us will smart for it .

See , see ; here comes the man we went to seek .

Now , signior , what news ?

Good day , my lord .

Welcome , signior : you are almost come to part almost a fray .

We had like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth .

Leonato and his brother . What thinkest thou ? Had we fought , I doubt we should have been too young for them .

In a false quarrel there is no true valour . I came to seek you both .

We have been up and down to seek thee ; for we are high-proof melancholy , and would fain have it beaten away . Wilt thou use thy wit ?

It is in my scabbard ; shall I draw it ?

Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side ?

Never any did so , though very many have been beside their wit . I will bid thee draw , as we do the minstrels ; draw , to pleasure us .

As I am an honest man , he looks pale . Art thou sick , or angry ?

What , courage , man ! What though care killed a cat , thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care .

Sir , I shall meet your wit in the career , an you charge it against me . I pray you choose another subject .

Nay then , give him another staff : this last was broke cross .

By this light , he changes more and more : I think he be angry indeed .

If he be , he knows how to turn his girdle .

Shall I speak a word in your ear ?

God bless me from a challenge !

You are a villain ; I jest not : I will make it good how you dare , with what you dare , and when you dare . Do me right , or I will protest your cowardice . You have killed a sweet lady , and her death shall fall heavy on you . Let me hear from you .

Well I will meet you , so I may have good cheer .

What , a feast , a feast ?

I' faith , I thank him ; he hath bid me to a calf's-head and a capon , the which if I do not carve most curiously , say my knife's naught .
Shall I not find a woodcock too ?

Sir , your wit ambles well ; it goes easily .

I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day . I said , thou hadst a fine wit . 'True ,' says she , 'a fine little one .' 'No ,' said I , 'a great wit .' 'Right ,' said she , 'a great gross one .' 'Nay ,' said I , 'a good wit .' 'Just ,' said she , 'it hurts nobody .' 'Nay ,' said I , 'the gentleman is wise .' 'Certain ,' said she , 'a wise gentleman .' 'Nay ,' said I , 'he hath the tongues .' 'That I believe ,' said she . 'for he swore a thing to me on Monday night , which he forswore on Tuesday morning : there's a double tongue ; there's two tongues .' Thus did she , an hour together , trans-shape thy particular virtues ; yet at last she concluded with a sigh , thou wast the properest man in Italy .

For the which she wept heartily and said she cared not .

Yea , that she did ; but yet , for all that , an if she did not hate him deadly , she would love him dearly . The old man's daughter told us all .

All , all ; and moreover , God saw him when he was hid in the garden .

But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head ?

Yea , and text underneath , 'Here dwells Benedick the married man !' 

Fare you well , boy : you know my mind . I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour : you break jests as braggarts do their blades , which , God be thanked , hurt not . My lord , for your many courtesies I thank you : I must discontinue your company . Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina : you have , among you , killed a sweet and innocent lady . For my Lord Lack-beard there , he and I shall meet ; and till then , peace be with him .


He is in earnest .

In most profound earnest ; and , I'll warrant you , for the love of Beatrice .

And hath challenged thee ?

Most sincerely .

What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit !

He is then a giant to an ape ; but then is an ape a doctor to such a man .

But , soft you ; let me be : pluck up , my heart , and be sad ! Did he not say my brother was fled ?


Come , you , sir : if justice cannot tame you , she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance . Nay , an you be a cursing hypocrite once , you must be looked to .

How now ! two of my brother's men bound ! Borachio , one !

Hearken after their offence , my lord .

Officers , what offence have these men done ?

Marry , sir , they have committed false report ; moreover , they have spoken untruths ; secondarily , they are slanders ; sixth and lastly , they have belied a lady ; thirdly , they have verified unjust things ; and to conclude , they are lying knaves .

First , I ask thee what they have done ; thirdly , I ask thee what's their offence ; sixth and lastly , why they are committed ; and , to conclude , what you lay to their charge ?

Rightly reasoned , and in his own division ; and , by my troth , there's one meaning well suited .

Who have you offended , masters , that you are thus bound to your answer ? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood . What's your offence ?

Sweet prince , let me go no further to mine answer : do you hear me , and let this count kill me . I have deceived even your very eyes : what your wisdoms could not discover , these shallow fools have brought to light ; who , in the night overheard me confessing to this man how Don John your brother incensed me to slander the Lady Hero ; how you were brought into the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments ; how you disgraced her , when you should marry her . My villany they have upon record ; which I had rather seal with my death than repeat over to my shame . The lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation ; and , briefly , I desire nothing but the reward of a villain .

Runs not this speech like iron through your blood ?

I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it .

But did my brother set thee on to this ?

Yea ; and paid me richly for the practice of it .

He is compos'd and fram'd of treachery :
And fled he is upon this villany .

Sweet Hero ! now thy image doth appear 
In the rare semblance that I lov'd it first .

Come , bring away the plaintiffs : by this time our sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter . And masters , do not forget to specify , when time and place shall serve , that I am an ass .

Here , here comes Master Signior Leonato , and the sexton too .


Which is the villain ? Let me see his eyes ,
That , when I note another man like him ,
I may avoid him . Which of these is he ?

If you would know your wronger , look on me .

Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast kill'd 
Mine innocent child ?

Yea , even I alone .

No , not so , villain ; thou beliest thyself :
Here stand a pair of honourable men ;
A third is fled , that had a hand in it .
I thank you , princes , for my daughter's death 
Record it with your high and worthy deeds .
'Twas bravely done , if you bethink you of it .

I know not how to pray your patience ;
Yet I must speak . Choose your revenge yourself ;
Impose me to what penance your invention 
Can lay upon my sin : yet sinn'd I not 
But in mistaking .

By my soul , nor I :
And yet , to satisfy this good old man ,
I would bend under any heavy weight 
That he'll enjoin me to .

I cannot bid you bid my daughter live ;
That were impossible : but , I pray you both ,
Possess the people in Messina here 
How innocent she died ; and if your love 
Can labour aught in sad invention ,
Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb ,
And sing it to her bones : sing it to-night .
To-morrow morning come you to my house ,
And since you could not be my son-in-law ,
Be yet my nephew . My brother hath a daughter ,
Almost the copy of my child that's dead ,
And she alone is heir to both of us :
Give her the right you should have given her cousin ,
And so dies my revenge .

O noble sir ,
Your over-kindness doth wring tears from me !
I do embrace your offer ; and dispose 
For henceforth of poor Claudio .

To-morrow then I will expect your coming ;
To-night I take my leave . This naughty man 
Shall face to face be brought to Margaret ,
Who , I believe , was pack'd in all this wrong ,
Hir'd to it by your brother .

No , by my soul she was not ;
Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me ;
But always hath been just and virtuous 
In anything that I do know by her .

Moreover , sir ,which , indeed , is not under white and black ,this plaintiff here , the offender , did call me ass : I beseech you , let it be remembered in his punishment . And also , the watch heard them talk of one Deformed : they say he wears a key in his ear and a lock hanging by it , and borrows money in God's name , the which he hath used so long and never paid , that now men grow hard-hearted , and will lend nothing for God's sake . Pray you , examine him upon that point .

I thank thee for thy care and honest pains .

Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth , and I praise God for you .

There's for thy pains .

God save the foundation !

Go , I discharge thee of thy prisoner , and I thank thee .

I leave an arrant knave with your worship ; which I beseech your worship to corect yourself , for the example of others . God keep your worship ! I wish your worship well ; God restore you to health ! I humbly give you leave to depart , and if a merry meeting may be wished , God prohibit it ! Come , neighbour .


Until to-morrow morning , lords , farewell .

Farewell , my lords : we look for you to-morrow .

We will not fail .

To-night I'll mourn with Hero .


Bring you these fellows on . We'll talk with Margaret ,
How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow .


Pray thee , sweet Mistress Margaret , deserve well at my hands by helping me to the speech of Beatrice .

Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty ?

In so high a style , Margaret , that no man living shall come over it ; for , in most comely truth , thou deservest it .

To have no man come over me ! why , shall I always keep below stairs ?

Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth ; it catches .

And yours as blunt as the fencer's foils , which hit , but hurt not .

A most manly wit , Margaret ; it will not hurt a woman : and so , I pray thee , call Beatrice . I give thee the bucklers .

Give us the swords , we have bucklers of our own .

If you use them , Margaret , you must put in the pikes with a vice ; and they are dangerous weapons for maids .

Well , I will call Beatrice to you , who I think hath legs .

And therefore will come .


The god of love ,
That sits above ,
And knows me , and knows me ,
How pitiful I deserve ,

I mean , in singing ; but in loving , Leander the good swimmer , Troilus the first employer of pandars , and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers , whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse , why , they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self , in love . Marry , I cannot show it in rime ; I have tried : I can find out no rime to 'lady' but 'baby ,' an innocent rime ; for 'scorn ,' 'horn ,' a hard rime ; for 'school ,' 'fool ,' a babbling rime ; very ominous endings : no , I was not born under a riming planet , nor I cannot woo in festival terms .

Sweet Beatrice , wouldst thou come when I called thee ?

Yea , signior ; and depart when you bid me .

O , stay but till then !

'Then' is spoken ; fare you well now : and yet , ere I go , let me go with that I came for ; which is , with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio .

Only foul words ; and thereupon I will kiss thee .

Foul words is but foul wind , and foul wind is but foul breath , and foul breath is noisome ; therefore I will depart unkissed .

Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense , so forcible is thy wit . But I must tell thee plainly , Claudio undergoes my challenge , and either I must shortly hear from him , or I will subscribe him a coward . And , I pray thee now , tell me , for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me ?

For them all together ; which maintained so politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them . But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me ?

'Suffer love ,' a good epithet ! I do suffer love indeed , for I love thee against my will .

In spite of your heart , I think . Alas , poor heart ! If you spite it for my sake , I will spite it for yours ; for I will never love that which my friend hates .

Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably .

It appears not in this confession : there's not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself .

An old , an old instance , Beatrice , that lived in the time of good neighbours . If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies , he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings and the widow weeps .

And how long is that think you ?

Question : why , an hour in clamour and a quarter in rheum : therefore it is most expedient for the wise ,if Don Worm , his conscience , find no impediment to the contrary ,to be the trumpet of his own virtues , as I am to myself . So much for praising myself , who , I myself will bear witness , is praiseworthy . And now tell me , how doth your cousin ?

Very ill .

And how do you ?

Very ill too .

Serve God , love me , and mend . There will I leave you too , for here comes one in haste .


Madam , you must come to your uncle . Yonder's old coil at home : it is proved , my Lady Hero hath been falsely accused , the prince and Claudio mightily abused ; and Don John is the author of all , who is fled and gone . Will you come presently ?

Will you go hear this news , signior ?

I will live in thy heart , die in thy lap , and be buried in thy eyes ; and moreover I will go with thee to thy uncle's .


Is this the monument of Leonato ?

It is , my lord .

Done to death by slanderous tongues 
Was the Hero that here lies :
Death , in guerdon of her wrongs ,
Gives her fame which never dies .
So the life that died with shame 
Lives in doath with glorious fame .

Hang thou there upon the tomb ,
Praising her when I am dumb .
Now , music , sound , and sing your solemn hymn .

Pardon , goddess of the night ,
Those that slew thy virgin knight ;
For the which , with songs of woe ,
Round about her tomb they go .
Midnight , assist our moan ;
Help us to sigh and groan ,
Heavily , heavily :
Graves , yawn and yield your dead ,
Till death be uttered ,
Heavily , heavily .

Now , unto thy bones good night !
Yearly will I do this rite .

Good morrow , masters : put your torches out .
The wolves have prey'd ; and look , the gentle day ,
Before the wheels of Ph bus , round about 
Dapples the drowsy east with spots of grey .
Thanks to you all , and leave us : fare you well 

Good morrow , masters : each his several way .

Come , let us hence , and put on other weeds ;
And then to Leonato's we will go .

And Hymen now with luckier issue speed's ,
Than this for whom we render'd up this woe !


Did I not tell you she was innocent ?

So are the prince and Claudio , who accus'd her 
Upon the error that you heard debated :
But Margaret was in some fault for this ,
Although against her will , as it appears 
In the true course of all the question .

Well , I am glad that all things sort so well .

And so am I , being else by faith enforc'd 
To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it .

Well , daughter , and you gentlewomen all ,
Withdraw into a chamber by yourselves ,
And when I send for you , come hither mask'd :
The prince and Claudio promis'd by this hour 
To visit me .

You know your office , brother ;
You must be father to your brother's daughter ,
And give her to young Claudio .

Which I will do with confirm'd countenance .

Friar , I must entreat your pains , I think .

To do what , signior ?

To bind me , or undo me ; one of them .
Signior Leonato , truth it is , good signior ,
Your niece regards me with an eye of favour .

That eye my daughter lent her : 'tis most true .

And I do with an eye of love requite her .

The sight whereof I think , you had from me ,
From Claudio , and the prince . But what's your will ?

Your answer , sir , is enigmatical :
But , for my will , my will is your good will 
May stand with ours , this day to be conjoin'd 
In the state of honourable marriage :
In which , good friar , I shall desire your help .

My heart is with your liking .

And my help .
Here come the prince and Claudio .


Good morrow to this fair assembly .

Good morrow , prince ; good morrow , Claudio :
We here attend you . Are you yet determin'd 
To-day to marry with my brother's daughter ?

I'll hold my mind , were she an Ethiop .

Call her forth , brother : here's the friar ready .


Good morrow , Benedick . Why , what's the matter ,
That you have such a February face ,
So full of frost , of storm and cloudiness ?

I think he thinks upon the savage bull .
Tush ! fear not , man , we'll tip thy horns with gold ,
And all Europa shall rejoice at thee ,
As once Europa did at lusty Jove ,
When he would play the noble beast in love .

Bull Jove , sir , had an amiable low :
And some such strange bull leap'd your father's cow ,
And got a calf in that same noble feat ,
Much like to you , for you have just his bleat .

For this I owe you : here come other reckonings .

Which is the lady I must seize upon ?

This same is she , and I do give you her .

Why , then she's mine . Sweet , let me see your face .

No , that you shall not , till you take her hand 
Before this friar , and swear to marry her .

Give me your hand : before this holy friar ,
I am your husband , if you like of me .

And when I liv'd , I was your other wife :

And when you lov'd , you were my other husband .

Another Hero !

Nothing certainer :
One Hero died defil'd , but I do live ,
And surely as I live , I am a maid .

The former Hero ! Hero that is dead !

She died , my lord , but whiles her slander liv'd .

All this amazement can I qualify :
When after that the holy rites are ended ,
I'll tell you largely of fair Hero's death :
Meantime , let wonder seem familiar ,
And to the chapel let us presently .

Soft and fair , friar . Which is Beatrice ?

I answer to that name . What is your will ?

Do not you love me ?

Why , no ; no more than reason .

Why , then , your uncle and the prince and Claudio 
Have been deceived ; for they swore you did .

Do not you love me ?

Troth , no ; no more than reason .

Why , then , my cousin , Margaret , and Ursula ,
Are much deceiv'd ; for they did swear you did .

They swore that you were almost sick for me .

They swore that you were well-nigh dead for me .

'Tis no such matter . Then , you do not love me ?

No , truly , but in friendly recompense .

Come , cousin , I am sure you love the gentleman .

And I'll be sworn upon 't that he loves her ;
For here's a paper written in his hand ,
A halting sonnet of his own pure brain ,
Fashion'd to Beatrice .

And here's another ,
Writ in my cousin's hand , stolen from her pocket ,
Containing her affection unto Benedick .

A miracle ! here's our own hands against our hearts . Come , I will have thee ; but , by this light , I take thee for pity .

I would not deny you ; but , by this good day , I yield upon great persuasion , and partly to save your life , for I was told you were in a consumption .

Peace ! I will stop your mouth .


How dost thou , Benedick , the married man ?

I'll tell thee what , prince ; a college of witcrackers cannot flout me out of my humour . Dost thou think I care for a satire or an epigram ? No ; if a man will be beaten with brains , a' shall wear nothing handsome about him . In brief , since I do purpose to marry , I will think nothing to any purpose that the world can say against it ; and therefore never flout at me for what I have said against it , for man is a giddy thing , and this is my conclusion . For thy part , Claudio , I did think to have beaten thee ; but , in that thou art like to be my kinsman , live unbruised , and love my cousin .

I had well hoped thou wouldst have denied Beatrice , that I might have cudgelled thee out of thy single life , to make thee a double-dealer ; which , out of question , thou wilt be , if my cousin do not look exceeding narrowly to thee .

Come , come , we are friends . Let's have a dance ere we are married , that we may lighten our own hearts and our wives' heels .

We'll have dancing afterward .

First , of my word ; therefore play , music ! Prince , thou art sad ; get thee a wife , get thee a wife : there is no staff more reverend than one tipped with horn .


My lord , your brother John is ta'en in flight ,
And brought with armed men back to Messina .

Think not on him till to-morrow : I'll devise thee brave punishments for him . Strike up , pipers !