Open your ears ; for which of you will stop 
The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks ?
I , from the orient to the drooping west ,
Making the wind my post-horse , still unfold 
The acts commenced on this ball of earth :
Upon my tongues continual slanders ride ,
The which in every language I pronounce ,
Stuffing the ears of men with false reports .
I speak of peace , while covert enmity 
Under the smile of safety wounds the world :
And who but Rumour , who but only I ,
Make fearful musters and prepar'd defence ,
Whilst the big year , swoln with some other grief ,
Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war ,
And no such matter ? Rumour is a pipe 
Blown by surmises , jealousies , conjectures ,
And of so easy and so plain a stop 
That the blunt monster with uncounted heads ,
The still-discordant wavering multitude ,
Can play upon it . But what need I thus 
My well-known body to anatomize 
Among my household ? Why is Rumour here ?
I run before King Harry's victory ;
Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury 
Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops ,
Quenching the flame of bold rebellion 
Even with the rebels' blood . But what mean I 
To speak so true at first ? my office is 
To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell 
Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword ,
And that the king before the Douglas' rage 
Stoop'd his anointed head as low as death .
This have I rumour'd through the peasant towns 
Between the royal field of Shrewsbury 
And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone ,
Where Hotspur's father , old Northumberland ,
Lies crafty-sick . The posts come tiring on ,
And not a man of them brings other news 
Than they have learn'd of me : from Rumour's tongues 
They bring smooth comforts false , worse than true wrongs .


Who keeps the gate here ? ho !

Where is the earl ?

What shall I say you are ?

Tell thou the earl 
That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here .

His Lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard :
Please it your honour knock but at the gate ,
And he himself will answer .


Here comes the earl .


What news , Lord Bardolph ? every minute now 
Should be the father of some stratagem .
The times are wild ; contention , like a horse 
Full of high feeding , madly hath broke loose 
And bears down all before him .

Noble earl ,
I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury .

Good , an God will !

As good as heart can wish .
The king is almost wounded to the death ;
And , in the fortune of my lord your son ,
Prince Harry slain outright ; and both the Blunts 
Kill'd by the hand of Douglas ; young Prince John 
And Westmoreland and Stafford fled the field .
And Harry Monmouth's brawn , the hulk Sir John ,
Is prisoner to your son : O ! such a day ,
So fought , so follow'd , and so fairly won ,
Came not till now to dignify the times 
Since C sar's fortunes .

How is this deriv'd ?
Saw you the field ? came you from Shrewsbury ?

I spake with one , my lord , that came from thence ;
A gentleman well bred and of good name ,
That freely render'd me these news for true .

Here comes my servant Travers , whom I sent 
On Tuesday last to listen after news .

My lord , I over-rode him on the way ;
And he is furnish'd with no certainties 
More than he haply may retail from me .


Now , Travers , what good tidings come with you ?

My lord , Sir John Umfrevile turn'd me back 
With joyful tidings ; and , being better hors'd ,
Out-rode me . After him came spurring hard 
A gentleman , almost forspent with speed ,
That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse .
He ask'd the way to Chester ; and of him 
I did demand what news from Shrewsbury .
He told me that rebellion had bad luck ,
And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold .
With that he gave his able horse the head ,
And , bending forward struck his armed heels 
Against the panting sides of his poor jade 
Up to the rowel-head , and , starting so ,
He seem'd in running to devour the way ,
Staying no longer question .

Ha ! Again :
Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold ?
Of Hotspur , Coldspur ? that rebellion 
Had met ill luck ?

My lord , I'll tell you what :
If my young lord your son have not the day ,
Upon mine honour , for a silken point 
I'll give my barony : never talk of it .

Why should the gentleman that rode by Travers 
Give then such instances of loss ?

Who , he ?
He was some hilding fellow that had stolen 
The horse he rode on , and , upon my life ,
Spoke at a venture . Look , here comes more news .


Yea , this man's brow , like to a title-leaf ,
Foretells the nature of a tragic volume :
So looks the strond , whereon the imperious flood 
Hath left a witness'd usurpation .
Say , Morton , didst thou come from Shrewsbury ?

I ran from Shrewsbury , my noble lord ;
Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask 
To fright our party .

How doth my son and brother ?
Thou tremblest , and the whiteness in thy cheek 
Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand .
Even such a man , so faint , so spiritless ,
So dull , so dead in look , so woe-begone ,
Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night ,
And would have told him half his Troy was burn'd ;
But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue ,
And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it .
This thou wouldst say , 'Your son did thus and thus ;
Your brother thus ; so fought the noble Douglas ;' 
Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds :
But in the end , to stop mine ear indeed ,
Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise ,
Ending with 'Brother , son , and all are dead .' 

Douglas is living , and your brother , yet ;
But , for my lord your son ,

Why , he is dead .
See , what a ready tongue suspicion hath !
He that but fears the thing he would not know 
Hath by instinct knowledge from others' eyes 
That what he fear'd is chanced . Yet speak , Morton :
Tell thou thy earl his divination lies ,
And I will take it as a sweet disgrace 
And make thee rich for doing me such wrong .

You are too great to be by me gainsaid ;
Your spirit is too true , your fears too certain .

Yet , for all this , say not that Percy's dead .
I see a strange confession in thine eye :
Thou shak'st thy head , and hold'st it fear or sin 
To speak a truth . If he be slain , say so ;
The tongue offends not that reports his death :
And he doth sin that doth belie the dead ,
Not he which says the dead is not alive .
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news 
Hath but a losing office , and his tongue 
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell ,
Remember'd knolling a departing friend .

I cannot think , my lord , your son is dead .

I am sorry I should force you to believe 
That which I would to God I had not seen ;
But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state ,
Rendering faint quittance , wearied and outbreath'd ,
To Harry Monmouth ; whose swift wrath beat down 
The never-daunted Percy to the earth ,
From whence with life he never more sprung up .
In few , his death ,whose spirit lent a fire 
Even to the dullest peasant in his camp ,
Being bruited once , took fire and heat away 
From the best-temper'd courage in his troops ;
For from his metal was his party steel'd ;
Which once in him abated , all the rest 
Turn'd on themselves , like dull and heavy lead :
And as the thing that's heavy in itself ,
Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed ,
So did our men , heavy in Hotspur's loss ,
Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear 
That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim 
Than did our soldiers , aiming at their safety ,
Fly from the field . Then was that noble Worcester 
Too soon ta'en prisoner ; and that furious Scot ,
The bloody Douglas , whose well-labouring sword 
Had three times slain the appearance of the king ,
'Gan vail his stomach , and did grace the shame 
Of those that turn'd their backs ; and in his flight ,
Stumbling in fear , was took . The sum of all 
Is , that the king hath won , and hath sent out 
A speedy power to encounter you , my lord ,
Under the conduct of young Lancaster 
And Westmoreland . This is the news at full .

For this I shall have time enough to mourn .
In poison there is physic ; and these news ,
Having been well , that would have made me sick ,
Being sick , have in some measure made me well :
And as the wretch , whose fever-weaken'd joints ,
Like strengthless hinges , buckle under life ,
Impatient of his fit , breaks like a fire 
Out of his keeper's arms , even so my limbs ,
Weaken'd with grief , being now enrag'd with grief ,
Are thrice themselves . Hence , therefore , thou nice crutch !
A scaly gauntlet now , with joints of steel 
Must glove this hand : and hence , thou sickly quoif !
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head 
Which princes , flesh'd with conquest , aim to hit .
Now bind my brows with iron ; and approach 
The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring 
To frown upon the enrag'd Northumberland !
Let heaven kiss earth ! now let not nature's hand 
Keep the wild flood confin'd ! let order die !
And let this world no longer be a stage 
To feed contention in a lingering act ;
But let one spirit of the first-born Cain 
Reign in all bosoms , that , each heart being set 
On bloody courses , the rude scene may end ,
And darkness be the burier of the dead !

This strained passion doth you wrong , my lord .

Sweet earl , divorce not wisdom from your honour .

The lives of all your loving complices 
Lean on your health ; the which , if you give o'er 
To stormy passion must perforce decay .
You cast the event of war , my noble lord ,
And summ'd the account of chance , before you said ,
'Let us make head .' It was your presurmise 
That in the dole of blows your son might drop :
You knew he walk'd o'er perils , on an edge ,
More likely to fall in than to get o'er ;
You were advis'd his flesh was capable 
Of wounds and scars , and that his forward spirit 
Would lift him where most trade of danger rang'd :
Yet did you say , 'Go forth ;' and none of this ,
Though strongly apprehended , could restrain 
The stiff-borne action : what hath then befallen ,
Or what hath this bold enterprise brought forth ,
More than that being which was like to be ?

We all that are engaged to this loss 
Knew that we ventur'd on such dangerous seas 
That if we wrought out life 'twas ten to one ;
And yet we ventur'd , for the gain propos'd 
Chok'd the respect of likely peril fear'd ;
And since we are o'erset , venture again .
Come , we will all put forth , body and goods .

'Tis more than time : and , my most noble lord ,
I hear for certain , and do speak the truth ,
The gentle Archbishop of York is up ,
With well-appointed powers : he is a man 
Who with a double surety binds his followers .
My lord your son had only but the corpse' ,
But shadows and the shows of men to fight ;
For that same word , rebellion , did divide 
The action of their bodies from their souls ;
And they did fight with queasiness , constrain'd ,
As men drink potions , that their weapons only 
Seem'd on our side : but , for their spirits and souls ,
This word , rebellion , it had froze them up ,
As fish are in a pond . But now the bishop 
Turns insurrection to religion :
Suppos'd sincere and holy in his thoughts ,
He's follow'd both with body and with mind ,
And doth enlarge his rising with the blood 
Of fair King Richard , scrap'd from Pomfret stones ;
Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause ;
Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land ,
Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke ;
And more and less do flock to follow him .

I knew of this before ; but , to speak truth ,
This present grief had wip'd it from my mind .
Go in with me ; and counsel every man 
The aptest way for safety and revenge :
Get posts and letters , and make friends with speed :
Never so few , and never yet more need .


Sirrah , you giant , what says the doctor to my water ?

He said , sir , the water itself was a good healthy water ; but , for the party that owed it , he might have more diseases than he knew for .

Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me : the brain of this foolish-compounded clay , man , is not able to invent anything that tends to laughter , more than I invent or is invented on me : I am not only witty in myself , but the cause that wit is in other men . I do here walk before thee like a sow that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one . If the prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off , why then I have no judgment . Thou whoreson mandrake , thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels . I was never manned with an agate till now ; but I will set you neither in gold nor silver , but in vile apparel , and send you back again to your master , for a jewel ; the juvenal , the prince your master , whose chin is not yet fledged . I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand than he shall get one on his cheek ; and yet he will not stick to say , his face is a face-royal : God may finish it when he will , it is not a hair amiss yet : he may keep it still as a face-royal , for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it ; and yet he will be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor . He may keep his own grace , but he is almost out of mine , I can assure him . What said Master Dombledon about the satin for my short cloak and my slops ?

He said , sir , you should procure him better assurance than Bardolph ; he would not take his bond and yours : he liked not the security .

Let him be damned like the glutton ! may his tongue be hotter ! A whoreson Achitophel ! a rascally yea-forsooth knave ! to bear a gentleman in hand , and then stand upon security . The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes , and bunches of keys at their girdles ; and if a man is thorough with them in honest taking up , then they must stand upon security . I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with security . I looked a' should have sent me two and twenty yards of satin , as I am a true knight , and he sends me security . Well , he may sleep in security ; for he hath the horn of abundance , and the lightness of his wife shines through it : and yet cannot he see , though he have his own lanthorn to light him . Where's Bardolph ?

He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse .

I bought him in Paul's , and he'll buy me a horse in Smithfield : an I could get me but a wife in the stews , I were manned , horsed , and wived .


Sir , here comes the nobleman that committed the prince for striking him about Bardolph .

Wait close ; I will not see him .

What's he that goes there ?

Falstaff , an't please your lordship .

He that was in question for the robbery ?

He , my lord ; but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury , and , as I hear , is now going with some charge to the Lord John of Lancaster .

What , to York ? Call him back again .

Sir John Falstaff !

Boy , tell him I am deaf .

You must speak louder , my master is deaf .

I am sure he is , to the hearing of anything good . Go , pluck him by the elbow ; I must speak with him .

Sir John !

What ! a young knave , and beg ! Is there not wars ? is there not employment ? doth not the king lack subjects ? do not the rebels want soldiers ? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one , it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side , were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it .

You mistake me , sir .

Why , sir , did I say you were an honest man ? setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside , I had lied in my throat if I had said so .

I pray you , sir , then set your knighthood and your soldiership aside , and give me leave to tell you you lie in your throat if you say I am any other than an honest man .

I give thee leave to tell me so ! I lay aside that which grows to me ! If thou gett'st any leave of me , hang me : if thou takest leave , thou wert better be hanged . You hunt-counter : hence ! avaunt !

Sir , my lord would speak with you .

Sir John Falstaff , a word with you .

My good lord ! God give your lordship good time of day . I am glad to see your lordship abroad ; I heard say your lordship was sick : I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice . Your lordship , though not clean past your youth , hath yet some smack of age in you , some relish of the saltness of time ; and I most humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your health .

Sir John , I sent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury .

An't please your lordship , I hear his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales .

I talk not of his majesty . You would not come when I sent for you .

And I hear , moreover , his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy .

Well , heaven mend him ! I pray you , let me speak with you .

This apoplexy is , as I take it , a kind of lethargy , an't please your lordship ; a kind of sleeping in the blood , a whoreson tingling .

What tell you me of it ? be it as it is .

It hath its original from much grief , from study and perturbation of the brain . I have read the cause of his effects in Galen : it is a kind of deafness .

I think you are fallen into the disease , for you hear not what I say to you .

Very well , my lord , very well : rather , an't please you , it is the disease of not listening , the malady of not marking , that I am troubled withal .

To punish you by the heels would amend the attention of your ears ; and I care not if I do become your physician .

I am as poor as Job , my lord , but not so patient : your lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in respect of poverty ; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions , the wise may make some dram of a scruple , or indeed a scruple itself .

I sent for you , when there were matters against you for your life , to come speak with me .

As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service , I did not come .

Well , the truth is , Sir John , you live in great infamy .

He that buckles him in my belt cannot live in less .

Your means are very slender , and your waste is great .

I would it were otherwise : I would my means were greater and my waist slenderer .

You have misled the youthful prince .

The young prince hath misled me : I am the fellow with the great belly , and he my dog .

Well , I am loath to gall a new-healed wound : your day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your night's exploit on Gadshill : you may thank the unquiet time for your quiet o'er-posting that action .

My lord !

But since all is well , keep it so : wake not a sleeping wolf .

To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox .

What ! you are as a candle , the better part burnt out .

A wassail candle , my lord ; all tallow : if I did say of wax , my growth would approve the truth .

There is not a white hair on your face but should have his effect of gravity .

His effect of gravy , gravy , gravy .

You follow the young prince up and down , like his ill angel .

Not so , my lord ; your ill angel is light , but I hope he that looks upon me will take me without weighing : and yet , in some respects , I grant , I cannot go , I cannot tell . Virtue is of so little regard in these costermonger times that true valour is turned bear-herd : pregnancy is made a tapster , and hath his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings : all the other gifts appertinent to man , as the malice of this age shapes them , are not worth a gooseberry . You that are old consider not the capacities of us that are young ; you measure the heat of our livers with the bitterness of your galls ; and we that are in the vaward of our youth , I must confess , are wags too .

Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth , that are written down old with all the characters of age ? Have you not a moist eye , a dry hand , a yellow cheek , a white beard , a decreasing leg , an increasing belly ? Is not your voice broken , your wind short , your chin double , your wit single , and every part about you blasted with antiquity , and will you yet call yourself young ? Fie , fie , fie , Sir John !

My lord , I was born about three of the clock in the afternoon , with a white head , and something a round belly . For my voice , I have lost it with hollaing , and singing of anthems . To approve my youth further , I will not : the truth is , I am only old in judgment and understanding ; and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks , let him lend me the money , and have at him ! For the box o' the ear that the prince gave you , he gave it like a rude prince , and you took it like a sensible lord . I have checked him for it , and the young lion repents ; marry , not in ashes and sackcloth , but in new silk and old sack .

Well , God send the prince a better companion !

God send the companion a better prince ! I cannot rid my hands of him .

Well , the king hath severed you and Prince Harry . I hear you are going with Lord John of Lancaster against the archbishop and the Earl of Northumberland .

Yea ; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it . But look you pray , all you that kiss my lady Peace at home , that our armies join not in a hot day ; for , by the Lord , I take but two shirts out with me , and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily : if it be a hot day , and I brandish anything but my bottle , I would I might never spit white again . There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head but I am thrust upon it . Well , I cannot last ever . But it was always yet the trick of our English nation , if they have a good thing , to make it too common . If you will needs say I am an old man , you should give me rest . I would to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is : I were better to be eaten to death with rust than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual motion .

Well , be honest , be honest ; and God bless your expedition .

Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to furnish me forth ?

Not a penny ; not a penny ; you are too impatient to bear crosses . Fare you well : commend me to my cousin Westmoreland .


If I do , fillip me with a three-man beetle . A man can no more separate age and covetousness than he can part young limbs and lechery ; but the gout galls the one , and the pox pinches the other ; and so both the degrees prevent my curses . Boy !

Sir !

What money is in my purse ?

Seven groats and twopence .

I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse : borrowing only lingers and lingers it out , but the disease is incurable . Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster ; this to the prince ; this to the Earl of Westmoreland ; and this to old Mistress Ursula , whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceived the first white hair on my chin . About it : you know where to find me .

A pox of this gout ! or , a gout of this pox ! for the one or the other plays the rogue with my great toe . 'Tis no matter if I do halt ; I have the wars for my colour , and my pension shall seem the more reasonable . A good wit will make use of anything ; I will turn diseases to commodity .


Thus have you heard our cause and known our means ;
And , my most noble friends , I pray you all ,
Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes :
And first , Lord Marshal , what say you to it ?

I well allow the occasion of our arms ;
But gladly would be better satisfied 
How in our means we should advance ourselves 
To look with forehead bold and big enough 
Upon the power and puissance of the king .

Our present musters grow upon the file 
To five-and-twenty thousand men of choice ;
And our supplies live largely in the hope 
Of great Northumberland , whose bosom burns 
With an incensed fire of injuries .

The question , then , Lord Hastings , standeth thus :
Whether our present five-and-twenty thousand 
May hold up head without Northumberland .

With him , we may .

Ay , marry , there's the point :
But if without him we be thought too feeble ,
My judgment is , we should not step too far 
Till we had his assistance by the hand ;
For in a theme so bloody-fao'd as this ,
Conjecture , expectation , and surmise 
Of aids incertain should not be admitted .

'Tis very true , Lord Bardolph ; for , indeed 
It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury .

It was , my lord ; who lin'd himself with hope ,
Eating the air on promise of supply ,
Flattering himself with project of a power 
Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts ;
And so , with great imagination 
Proper to madmen , led his powers to death ,
And winking leap'd into destruction .

But , by your leave , it never yet did hurt 
To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope .

Yes , if this present quality of war ,
Indeed the instant action ,a cause on foot ,
Lives so in hope , as in an early spring 
We see the appearing buds ; which , to prove fruit ,
Hope gives not so much warrant as despair 
That frosts will bite them . When we mean to build ,
We first survey the plot , then draw the model ;
And when we see the figure of the house ,
Then must we rate the cost of the erection ;
Which if we find outweighs ability ,
What do we then but draw anew the model 
In fewer offices , or at last desist 
To build at all ? Much more , in this great work ,
Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down 
And set another up ,should we survey 
The plot of situation and the model ,
Consent upon a sure foundation ,
Question surveyors , know our own estate ,
How able such a work to undergo ,
To weigh against his opposite ; or else ,
We fortify in paper , and in figures ,
Using the names of men instead of men :
Like one that draws the model of a house 
Beyond his power to build it ; who , half through ,
Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost 
A naked-subject to the weeping clouds ,
And waste for churlish winter's tyranny .

Grant that our hopes , yet likely of fair birth ,
Should be still-born , and that we now possess'd 
The utmost man of expectation ;
I think we are a body strong enough ,
Even as we are , to equal with the king .

What ! is the king but five-and-twenty thousand ?

To us no more ; nay , not so much , Lord Bardolph .
For his divisions , as the times do brawl ,
Are in three heads : one power against the French ,
And one against Glendower ; perforce , a third 
Must take up us : so is the unfirm king 
In three divided , and his coffers sound 
With hollow poverty and emptiness .

That he should draw his several strengths together 
And come against us in full puissance ,
Need not be dreaded .

If he should do so ,
He leaves his back unarm'd , the French and Welsh 
Baying him at the heels : never fear that .

Who is it like should lead his forces hither ?

The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland ;
Against the Welsh , himself and Harry Monmouth :
But who is substituted 'gainst the French 
I have no certain notice .

Let us on 
And publish the occasion of our arms .
The commonwealth is sick of their own choice ;
Their over-greedy love hath surfeited .
A habitation giddy and unsure 
Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart .
O thou fond many ! with what loud applause 
Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke 
Before he was what thou wouldst have him be :
And being now trimm'd in thine own desires ,
Thou , beastly feeder , art so full of him 
That thou provok'st thyself to cast him up .
So , so , thou common dog , didst thou disgorge 
Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard ,
And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up ,
And howl'st to find it . What trust is in these times ?
They that , when Richard liv'd , would have him die ,
Are now become enamour'd on his grave :
Thou , that threw'st dust upon his goodly head ,
When through proud London he came sighing on 
After the admired heels of Bolingbroke ,
Cry'st now , 'O earth ! yield us that king again ,
And take thou this !' O , thoughts of men accurst !
Past and to come seem best ; things present worst .

Shall we go draw our numbers and set on ?

We are time's subjects , and time bids be gone .

Master Fang , have you entered the exion ?

It is entered .

Where's your yeoman ? Is it a lusty yeoman ? will a' stand to't ?

Sirrah , where's Snare ?

O Lord , ay ! good Master Snare .

Here , here .

Snare , we must arrest Sir John Falstaff .

Yea , good Master Snare ; I have entered him and all .

It may chance cost some of us our lives , for he will stab .

Alas the day ! take heed of him : he stabbed me in mine own house , and that most beastly . In good faith , he cares not what mischief he doth if his weapon be out : he will foin like any devil , he will spare neither man , woman , nor child .

If I can close with him I care not for his thrust .

No , nor I neither : I'll be at your elbow .

An I but fist him once ; an a' come but within my vice ,

I am undone by his going ; I warrant you , he's an infinitive thing upon my score . Good Master Fang , hold him sure : good Master Snare , let him not 'scape . A' comes continuantly to Pie-corner saving your manhoods to buy a saddle , and he's indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head in Lumbert-Street , to Master Smooth's the silkman : I pray ye , since my exion is entered , and my case so openly known to the world , let him be brought in to his answer . A hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to bear ; and I have borne , and borne , and borne ; and have been fubbed off , and fubbed off , and fubbed off , from this day to that day , that it is a shame to be thought on . There is no honesty in such dealing ; unless a woman should be made an ass , and a beast , to bear every knave's wrong . Yonder he comes ; and that arrant malmseynose knave , Bardolph , with him . Do your offices , do your offices , Master Fang and Master Snare ; do me , do me , do me your offices .


How now ! whose mare's dead ? what's the matter ?

Sir John , I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly .

Away , varlets ! Draw , Bardolph : cut me off the villain's head ; throw the quean in the channel .

Throw me in the channel ! I'll throw thee in the channel . Wilt thou ? wilt thou ? thou bastardly rogue ! Murder , murder ! Ah , thou honey-suckle villain ! wilt thou kill God's officers and the king's ? Ah , thou honey-seed rogue ! thou art a honey-seed , a man-queller , and a woman-queller .

Keep them off , Bardolph .

A rescue ! a rescue !

Good people , bring a rescue or two ! Thou wo't , wo't thou ? thou wo't , wo't ta ? do , do , thou rogue ! do , thou hemp-seed !

Away , you scullion ! you rampallian ! you fustilarian ! I'll tickle your catastrophe .


What is the matter ? keep the peace here , ho !

Good my lord , be good to me ! I beseech you , stand to me !

How now , Sir John ! what ! are you brawling here ?
Doth this become your place , your time and business ?
You should have been well on your way to York .
Stand from him , fellow : wherefore hang'st upon him ?

O , my most worshipful lord , an't please your grace , I am a poor widow of Eastcheap , and he is arrested at my suit .

For what sum ?

It is more than for some , my lord ; it is for all , all I have . He hath eaten me out of house and home ; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his : but I will have some of it out again , or I will ride thee o' nights like the mare .

I think I am as like to ride the mare if I have any vantage of ground to get up .

How comes this , Sir John ? Fie ! what man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation ? Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her own ?

What is the gross sum that I owe thee ?

Marry , if thou wert an honest man , thyself and the money too . Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet , sitting in my Dolphin-chamber , at the round table , by a seacoal fire , upon Wednesday in Wheeson week , when the prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing-man of Windsor , thou didst swear to me then , as I was washing thy wound , to marry me and make me my lady thy wife . Canst thou deny it ? Did not goodwife Keech , the butcher's wife , come in then and call me gossip Quickly ? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar ; telling us she had a good dish of prawns ; whereby thou didst desire to eat some , whereby I told thee they were ill for a green wound ? And didst thou not , when she was gone down-stairs , desire me to be no more so familiarity with such poor people ; saying that ere long they should call me madam ? And didst thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings ? I put thee now to thy book-oath : deny it if thou canst .

My lord , this is a poor mad soul ; and she says up and down the town that her eldest son is like you . She hath been in good case , and the truth is , poverty hath distracted her . But for these foolish officers , I beseech you I may have redress against them .

Sir John , Sir John , I am well acquainted with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false way . It is not a confident brow , nor the throng of words that come with such more than impudent sauciness from you , can thrust me from a level consideration ; you have , as it appears to me , practised upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman , and made her serve your uses both in purse and in person .

Yea , in troth , my lord .

Prithee , peace . Pay her the debt you owe her , and unpay the villany you have done her : the one you may do with sterling money , and the other with current repentance .

My lord , I will not undergo this sneap without reply . You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness : if a man will make curtsy , and say nothing , he is virtuous . No , my lord , my humble duty remembered , I will not be your suitor : I say to you , I do desire deliverance from these officers , being upon hasty employment in the king's affairs .

You speak as having power to do wrong : but answer in the effect of your reputation , and satisfy the poor woman .

Come hither , hostess .

Now , Master Gower ! what news ?

The king , my lord , and Harry Prince of Wales 
Are near at hand : the rest the paper tells .


As I am a gentleman .

Nay , you said so before .

As I am a gentleman . Come , no more words of it .

By this heavenly ground I tread on , I must be fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers .

Glasses , glasses , is the only drinking : and for thy walls , a pretty slight drollery , or the story of the Prodigal , or the German hunting in water-work , is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings and these fly-bitten tapestries . Let it be ten pound if thou canst . Come , an it were not for thy humours , there is not a better wench in England . Go , wash thy face , and draw thy action . Come , thou must not be in this humour with me ; dost not know me ? Come , come , I know thou wast set on to this .

Prithee , Sir John , let it be but twenty nobles : i' faith , I am loath to pawn my plate , so God save me , la !

Let it alone ; I'll make other shift : you'll be a fool still .

Well , you shall have it , though I pawn my gown . I hope you'll come to supper . You'll pay me all together ?

Will I live ?

Go , with her , with her ; hook on , hook on .

Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper ?

No more words ; let's have her .


I have heard better news .

What's the news , my good lord ?

Where lay the king last night ?

At Basingstoke , my lord .

I hope , my lord , all's well : what is the news , my lord ?

Come all his forces back ?

No ; fifteen hundred foot , five hundred horse ,
Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster ,
Against Northumberland and the archbishop .

Comes the king back from Wales , my noble lord ?

You shall have letters of me presently .
Come , go along with me , good Master Gower .

My lord !

What's the matter ?

Master Gower , shall I entreat you with me to dinner ?

I must wait upon my good lord here ;
I thank you , good Sir John .

Sir John , you loiter here too long , being you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go .

Will you sup with me , Master Gower ?

What foolish master taught you these manners , Sir John ?

Master Gower , if they become me not , he was a fool that taught them me . This is the right fencing grace , my lord ; tap for tap , and so part fair .

Now the Lord lighten thee ! thou art a great fool .


Before God , I am exceeding weary .

Is it come to that ? I had thought weariness durst not have attached one of so high blood .

Faith , it does me , though it discolours the complexion of my greatness to acknowledge it . Doth it not show vilely in me to desire small beer ?

Why , a prince should not be so loosely studied as to remember so weak a composition .

Belike then my appetite was not princely got ; for , by my troth , I do now remember the poor creature , small beer . But , indeed , these humble considerations make me out of love with my greatness . What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name , or to know thy face to-morrow ! or to take note how many pair of silk stockings thou hast ; viz . these , and those that were thy peach-coloured ones ! or to bear the inventory of thy shirts ; as , one for superfluity , and one other for use ! But that the tennis-court-keeper knows better than I , for it is a low ebb of linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there ; as thou hast not done a great while , because the rest of thy low-countries have made a shift to eat up thy holland : and God knows whether those that bawl out the ruins of thy linen shall inherit his kingdom ; but the midwives say the children are not in the fault ; whereupon the world increases , and kindreds are mightily strengthened .

How ill it follows , after you have laboured so hard , you should talk so idly ! Tell me , how many good young princes would do so , their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is ?

Shall I tell thee one thing , Poins ?

Yes , faith , and let it be an excellent good thing .

It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than thine .

Go to ; I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell .

Marry , I tell thee , it is not meet that I should be sad , now my father is sick : albeit I could tell to thee ,as to one it pleases me , for fault of a better , to call my friend ,I could be sad , and sad indeed too .

Very hardly upon such a subject .

By this hand , thou thinkest me as far in the devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency : let the end try the man . But I tell thee my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick ; and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow .

The reason ?

What wouldst thou think of me if I should weep ?

I would think thee a most princely hypocrite .

It would be every man's thought ; and thou art a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks : never a man's thought in the world keeps the road-way better than thine : every man would think me a hypocrite indeed . And what accites your most worshipful thought to think so ?

Why , because you have been so lewd and so much engraffed to Falstaff .

And to thee .

By this light , I am well spoke on ; I can hear it with mine own ears : the worst that they can say of me is that I am a second brother and that I am a proper fellow of my hands ; and these two things I confess I cannot help . By the mass , here comes Bardolph .


And the boy that I gave Falstaff : a' had him from me Christian ; and look , if the fat villain have not transformed him ape .

God save your Grace !

And yours , most noble Bardolph .

Come , you virtuous ass , you bashful fool , must you be blushing ? wherefore blush you now ? What a maidenly man-at-arms are you become ! Is it such a matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead ?

A' calls me even now , my lord , through a red lattice , and I could discern no part of his face from the window : at last , I spied his eyes , and methought he had made two holes in the ale-wife's new petticoat , and peeped through .

Hath not the boy profited ?

Away , you whoreson upright rabbit , away !

Away , you rascally Althea's dream , away !

Instruct us , boy ; what dream , boy ?

Marry , my lord , Althea dreamed she was delivered of a firebrand ; and therefore I call him her dream .

A crown's worth of good interpretation . There it is , boy .


O ! that this good blossom could be kept from cankers . Well , there is sixpence to preserve thee .

An you do not make him be hanged among you , the gallows shall have wrong .

And how doth thy master , Bardolph ?

Well , my lord . He heard of your Grace's coming to town : there's a letter for you .

Delivered with good respect . And how doth the martlemas , your master ?

In bodily health , sir .

Marry , the immortal part needs a physician ; but that moves not him : though that be sick , it dies not .

I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as my dog ; and he holds his place , for look you how he writes .

'John Falstaff , knight ,' every man must know that , as oft as he has occasion to name himself : even like those that are akin to the king , for they never prick their finger but they say , 'There is some of the king's blood spilt .' 'How comes that ?' says he that takes upon him not to conceive . The answer is as ready as a borrower's cap , 'I am the king's poor cousin , sir .' 

Nay , they will be kin to us , or they will fetch it from Japhet . But to the letter :

Sir John Falstaff , knight , to the son of the king nearest his father , Harry Prince of Wales , greeting . Why , this is a certificate .

Peace !

I will imitate the honourable Romans in brevity : sure he means brevity in breath , short-winded .I commend me to thee , I commend thee , and I leave thee . Be not too familiar with Poins ; for he misuses thy favours so much that he swears thou art to marry his sister Nell . Repent at idle times as thou mayest , and so farewell .

My lord , I'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat it .

That's to make him eat twenty of his words . But do you use me thus , Ned ? must I marry your sister ?

God send the wench no worse fortune ! but I never said so .

Well , thus we play the fools with the time , and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us . Is your master here in London ?

Yes , my lord .

Where sups he ? doth the old boar feed in the old frank ?

At the old place , my lord , in Eastcheap .

What company ?

Ephesians , my lord , of the old church .

Sup any women with him ?

None , my lord , but old Mistress Quickly and Mistress Doll Tearsheet .

What pagan may that be ?

A proper gentlewoman , sir , and a kinswoman of my master's .

Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the town bull . Shall we steal upon them , Ned , at supper ?

I am your shadow , my lord ; I'll follow you .

Sirrah , you boy , and Bardolph ; no word to your master that I am yet come to town : there's for your silence .


I have no tongue , sir .

And for mine , sir , I will govern it .

Fare ye well ; go .

This Doll Tearsheet should be some road .

I warrant you , as common as the way between Saint Alban's and London .

How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night in his true colours , and not ourselves be seen ?

Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons , and wait upon him at his table as drawers .

From a god to a bull ! a heavy descension ! it was Jove's case . From a prince to a prentice ! a low transformation ! that shall be mine ; for in every thing the purpose must weigh with the folly . Follow me , Ned .


I pray thee , loving wife , and gentle daughter ,
Give even way unto my rough affairs :
Put not you on the visage of the times ,
And be like them to Percy troublesome .

I have given over , I will speak no more :
Do what you will ; your wisdom be your guide .

Alas ! sweet wife , my honour is at pawn ;
And , but my going , nothing can redeem it .

O ! yet for God's sake , go not to these wars .
The time was , father , that you broke your word 
When you were more endear'd to it than now ;
When your own Percy , when my heart's dear Harry ,
Threw many a northward look to see his father 
Bring up his powers ; but he did long in vain .
Who then persuaded you to stay at home ?
There were two honours lost , yours and your son's :
For yours , the God of heaven brighten it !
For his , it stuck upon him as the sun 
In the grey vault of heaven ; and by his light 
Did all the chivalry of England move 
To do brave acts : he was indeed the glass 
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves :
He had no legs , that practis'd not his gait ;
And speaking thick , which nature made his blemish ,
Became the accents of the valiant ;
For those that could speak low and tardily ,
Would turn their own perfection to abuse ,
To seem like him : so that , in speech , in gait ,
In diet , in affections of delight ,
In military rules , humours of blood ,
He was the mark and glass , copy and book ,
That fashion'd others . And him , O wondrous him !
O miracle of men ! him did you leave ,
Second to none , unseconded by you ,
To look upon the hideous god of war 
In disadvantage ; to abide a field 
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name 
Did seem defensible : so you left him .
Never , O ! never , do his ghost the wrong 
To hold your honour more precise and nice 
With others than with him : let them alone .
The marshal and the archbishop are strong :
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers ,
To-day might I , hanging on Hotspur's neck ,
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave .

Beshrew your heart ,
Fair daughter ! you do draw my spirits from me 
With new lamenting ancient oversights .
But I must go and meet with danger there ,
Or it will seek me in another place ,
And find me worse provided .

O ! fly to Scotland ,
Till that the nobles and the armed commons 
Have of their puissance made a little taste .

If they get ground and vantage of the king ,
Then join you with them , like a rib of steel ,
To make strength stronger ; but , for all our loves ,
First let them try themselves . So did your son ;
He was so suffer'd : so came I a widow ;
And never shall have length of life enough 
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes ,
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven ,
For recordation to my noble husband .

Come , come , go in with me . 'Tis with my mind 
As with the tide swell'd up unto its height ,
That makes a still-stand , running neither way :
Fain would I go to meet the archbishop ,
But many thousand reasons hold me back .
I will resolve for Scotland : there am I ,
Till time and vantage crave my company .


What the devil hast thou brought there ? apple-johns ? thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-john .

Mass , thou sayst true . The prince once set a dish of apple-johns before him , and told him there were five more Sir Johns ; and , putting off his hat , said , 'I will now take my leave of these six dry , round , old withered knights .' It angered him to the heart ; but he hath forgot that .

Why then , cover , and set them down : and see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise ; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear some music . Dispatch : the room where they supped is too hot ; they'll come in straight .

Sirrah , here will be the prince and Master Poins anon ; and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons ; and Sir John must not know of it : Bardolph hath brought word .

By the mass , here will be old utis : it will be an excellent stratagem .

I'll see if I can find out Sneak .

I'faith , sweetheart , methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality : your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire ; and your colour , I warrant you , is as red as any rose ; in good truth , la ! But , i' faith , you have drunk too much canaries , and that's a marvellous searching wine , and it perfumes the blood ere one can say , What's this ? How do you now ?

Better than I was : hem !

Why , that's well said ; a good heart's worth gold . Lo ! here comes Sir John .


When Arthur first in court Empty the jordan .

And was a worthy king . How now , Mistress Doll !

Sick of a calm : yea , good sooth .

So is all her sect ; an they be once in a calm they are sick .

You muddy rascal , is that all the comfort you give me ?

You make fat rascals , Mistress Doll .

I make them ! gluttony and diseases make them ; I make them not .

If the cook help to make the gluttony , you help to make the diseases , Doll : we catch of you , Doll , we catch of you ; grant that , my poor virtue , grant that .

Ay , marry ; our chains and our jewels .

'Your brooches , pearls , and owches :' for to serve bravely is to come halting off you know : to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely , and to surgery bravely ; to venture upon the charged chambers bravely ,

Hang yourself , you muddy conger , hang yourself !

By my troth , this is the old fashion ; you two never meet but you fall to some discord : you are both , in good troth , as rheumatic as two dry toasts ; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities . What the good-year ! one must bear , and that must be you : you are the weaker vessel , as they say , the emptier vessel .

Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead ? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him : you have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold . Come , I'll be friends with thee , Jack : thou art going to the wars ; and whether I shall ever see thee again or no , there is nobody cares .


Sir , Ancient Pistol's below , and would speak with you .

Hang him , swaggering rascal ! let him not come hither : it is the foul-mouthedest rogue in England .

If he swagger , let him not come here : no , by my faith ; I must live amongst my neighbours ; I'll no swaggerers : I am in good name and fame with the very best . Shut the door ; there comes no swaggerers here : I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now : shut the door , I pray you .

Dost thou hear , hostess ?

Pray you , pacify yourself , Sir John : there comes no swaggerers here .

Dost thou hear ? it is mine ancient .

Tilly-fally , Sir John , never tell me : your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors . I was before Master Tisick , the deputy , t'other day ; and , as he said to me ,'twas no longer ago than Wednesday last ,'Neighbour Quickly ,' says he ;Master Dumbe , our minister , was by then ;'Neighbour Quickly ,' says he , 'receive those that are civil , for ,' said he , 'you are in an ill name ;' now , a' said so , I can tell whereupon ; 'for ,' says he , 'you are an honest woman , and well thought on ; therefore take heed what guests you receive : receive ,' says he , 'no swaggering companions .' There comes none here :you would bless you to hear what he said . No , I'll no swaggerers .

He's no swaggerer , hostess ; a tame cheater , i' faith ; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound : he will not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance . Call him up , drawer .


Cheater , call you him ? I will bar no honest man my house , nor no cheater ; but I do not love swaggering , by my troth ; I am the worse , when one says swagger . Feel , masters , how I shake ; look you , I warrant you .

So you do , hostess .

Do I ? yea , in very truth , do I , an 'twere an aspen leaf : I cannot abide swaggerers .


God save you , Sir John !

Welcome , Ancient Pistol . Here , Pistol , I charge you with a cup of sack : do you discharge upon mine hostess .

I will discharge upon her , Sir John , with two bullets .

She is pistol-proof , sir ; you shall hardly offend her .

Come , I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets : I'll drink no more than will do me good , for no man's pleasure , I .

Then to you , Mistress Dorothy ; I will charge you .

Charge me ! I scorn you , scurvy companion . What ! you poor , base , rascally , cheating , lack-linen mate ! Away , you mouldy rogue , away ! I am meat for your master .

I know you , Mistress Dorothy .

Away , you cut-purse rascal ! you filthy bung , away ! By this wine , I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me . Away , you bottle-ale rascal ! you basket-hilt stale juggler , you ! Since when , I pray you , sir ? God's light ! with two points on your shoulder ? much !

God let me not live . I will murder your ruff for this !

No more , Pistol : I would not have you go off here . Discharge yourself of our company , Pistol .

No , good captain Pistol ; not here , sweet captain .

Captain ! thou abominable damned cheater , art thou not ashamed to be called captain ? An captains were of my mind , they would truncheon you out for taking their names upon you before you have earned them . You a captain , you slave ! for what ? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy-house ? He a captain ! Hang him , rogue ! He lives upon mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes . A captain ! God's light , these villains will make the word captain as odious as the word 'occupy ,' which was an excellent good word before it was ill sorted : therefore captains had need look to it .

Pray thee , go down , good ancient .

Hark thee hither , Mistress Doll .

Not I ; I tell thee what , Corporal Bardolph ; I could tear her . I'll be revenged of her .

Pray thee , go down .

I'll see her damned first ; to Pluto's damned lake , by this hand , to the infernal deep , with Erebus and tortures vile also . Hold hook and line , say I . Down , down , dogs ! down fates ! Have we not Hiren here ?

Good Captain Peesel , be quiet ; it is very late , i' faith . I beseek you now , aggravate your choler .

These be good humours , indeed ! Shall pack-horses ,
And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia ,
Which cannot go but thirty miles a day ,
Compare with C sars , and with Cannibals ,
And Trojan Greeks ? nay , rather damn them with 
King Cerberus ; and let the welkin roar .
Shall we fall foul for toys ?

By my troth , captain , these are very bitter words .

Be gone , good ancient : this will grow to a brawl anon .

Dio men like dogs ! give crowns like pins ! Have we not Hiren here ?

O' my word , captain , there's none such here . What the good-year ! do you think I would deny her ? for God's sake ! be quiet .

Then feed , and be fat , my fair Calipolis .
Come , give's some sack .
Si fortuna me tormente , sperato me contento .
Fear we broadsides ? no , let the fiend give fire :
Give me some sack ; and , sweetheart , lie thou there .

Come we to full points here , and are et ceteras nothing ?

Pistol , I would be quiet .

Sweet knight , I kiss thy neif . What ! we have seen the seven stars .

For God's sake , thrust him down stairs ! I cannot endure such a fustian rascal .

'Thrust him down stairs !' know we not Galloway nags ?

Quoit him down , Bardolph , like a shovegroat shilling : nay , an a' do nothing but speak nothing , a' shall be nothing here .

Come , get you down stairs .

What ! shall we have incision ? Shall we imbrue ?

Then death rock me asleep , abridge my doleful days !
Why then , let grievous , ghastly , gaping wounds 
Untwine the Sisters Three ! Come , Atropos , I say !

Here's goodly stuff toward !

Give me my rapier , boy .

I pray thee , Jack , I pray thee , do not draw .

Get you down stairs .


Here's a goodly tumult ! I'll forswear keeping house , afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights . So ; murder , I warrant now . Alas , alas ! put up your naked weapons ; put up your naked weapons .


I pray thee , Jack , be quiet ; the rascal's gone . Ah ! you whoreson little valiant villain , you !

Are you not hurt i' the groin ? methought a' made a shrewd thrust at your belly .


Have you turned him out o' doors ?

Yes , sir : the rascal's drunk . You have hurt him , sir , i' the shoulder .

A rascal , to brave me !

Ah , you sweet little rogue , you ! Alas , poor ape , how thou sweatest ! Come , let me wipe thy face ; come on , you whoreson chops . Ah , rogue ! i' faith , I love thee . Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy , worth five of Agamemnon , and ten times better than the Nine Worthies . Ah , villain !

A rascally slave ! I will toss the rogue in a blanket .

Do , an thou darest for thy heart : an thou dost , I'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets .


The music is come , sir .

Let them play . Play , sirs . Sit on my knee , Doll . A rascal bragging slave ! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver .

I' faith , and thou followedst him like a church . Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig , when wilt thou leave fighting o' days , and foining o' nights , and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven ?


Peace , good Doll ! do not speak like a death's head : do not bid me remember mine end .

Sirrah , what humour is the prince of ?

A good shallow young fellow : a' would have made a good pantler , a' would have chipped bread well .

They say , Poins has a good wit .

He a good wit ! hang him , baboon ! his wit is as thick as Tewksbury mustard : there is no more conceit in him than is in a mallet .

Why does the prince love him so , then ?

Because their legs are both of a bigness , and he plays at quoits well , and eats conger and fennel , and drinks off candles' ends for flapdragons , and rides the wild mare with the boys , and jumps upon joint-stools , and swears with a good grace , and wears his boots very smooth , like unto the sign of the leg , and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories ; and such other gambol faculties a' has , that show a weak mind and an able body , for the which the prince admits him : for the prince himself is such another ; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois .

Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off ?

Let's beat him before his whore .

Look , whether the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like a parrot .

Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance ?

Kiss me , Doll .

Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction ! what says the almanack to that ?

And , look , whether the fiery Trigon , his man , be not lisping to his master's old tables , his note-book , his counsel-keeper .

Thou dost give me flattering busses .

By my troth , I kiss thee with a most constant heart .

I am old , I am old .

I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all .

What stuff wilt have a kirtle of ? I shall receive money o' Thursday ; thou shalt have a cap to-morrow . A merry song ! come : it grows late ; we'll to bed . Thou'lt forget me when I am gone .

By my troth , thou'lt set me a-weeping an thou sayst so : prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return . Well , hearken at the end .

Some sack , Francis !

Anon , anon , sir .

Anon , anon , sir .

Ha ! a bastard son of the king's ? And art not thou Poins his brother ?

Why , thou globe of sinful cntinents , what a life dost thou lead !

A better than thou : I am a gentleman ; thou art a drawer .

Very true , sir ; and I come to draw you out by the ears .

O ! the Lord preserve thy good Grace ; by my troth , welcome to London . Now , the Lord bless that sweet face of thine ! O Jesu ! are you come from Wales ?

Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty , by this light flesh and corrupt blood 

thou art welcome .

How , you fat fool ! I scorn you .

My lord , he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all to a merriment , if you take not the heat .

You whoreson candle-mine , you , how vilely did you speak of me even now before this honest , virtuous , civil gentlewoman !

Blessing on your good heart ! and so she is , by my troth .

Didst thou hear me ?

Yea ; and you knew me , as you did when you ran away by Gadshill : you knew I was at your back , and spoke it on purpose to try my patience .

No , no , no ; not so ; I did not think thou wast within hearing .

I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse ; and then I know how to handle you .

No abuse , Hal , o' mine honour ; no abuse .

Not to dispraise me , and call me pantler and bread-chipper and I know not what ?

No abuse , Hal .

No abuse !

No abuse , Ned , in the world ; honest Ned , none . I dispraised him before the wicked , that the wicked might not fall in love with him ; in which doing I have done the part of a careful friend and a true subject , and thy father is to give me thanks for it . No abuse , Hal ; none , Ned , none : no , faith , boys , none .

See now , whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us ? Is she of the wicked ? Is thine hostess here of the wicked ? Or is thy boy of the wicked ? Or honest Bardolph , whose zeal burns in his nose , of the wicked ?

Answer , thou dead elm , answer .

The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable ; and his face is Lucifer's privykitchen , where he doth nothing but roast maltworms . For the boy , there is a good angel about him ; but the devil outbids him too .

For the women ?

For one of them , she is in hell already , and burns poor souls . For the other , I owe her money ; and whether she be damned for that , I know not .

No , I warrant you .

No , I think thou art not ; I think thou art quit for that . Marry , there is another indictment upon thee , for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house , contrary to the law ; for the which I think thou wilt howl .

All victuallers do so : what's a joint of mutton or two in a whole Lent ?

You , gentlewoman ,

What says your Grace ?

His Grace says that which his flesh rebels against .


Who knocks so loud at door ? Look to the door there , Francis .


Peto , how now ! what news ?

The king your father is at Westminster ;
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts 
Come from the north : and as I came along ,
I met and overtook a dozen captains ,
Bare-headed , sweating , knocking at the taverns ,
And asking every one for Sir John Falstaff .

By heaven , Poins , I feel me much to blame ,
So idly to profane the precious time ,
When tempest of commotion , like the south ,
Borne with black vapour , doth begin to melt 
And drop upon our bare unarmed heads .
Give me my sword and cloak . Falstaff , good night .


Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night , and we must hence and leave it unpicked .

More knocking at the door !

How now ! what's the matter ?

You must away to court , sir , presently ;
A dozen captains stay at door for you .

Pay the musicians , sirrah . Farewell , hostess ; farewell , Doll . You see , my good wenches , how men of merit are sought after : the undeserver may sleep when the man of action is called on . Farewell , good wenches . If I be not sent away post , I will see you again ere I go .

I cannot speak ; if my heart be not ready to burst ,well , sweet Jack , have a care of thyself .

Farewell , farewell .


Well , fare thee well : I have known thee these twenty-nine years , come peascod-time ; but an honester , and truer-hearted man ,well , fare thee well .

Mistress Tearsheet !

What's the matter ?

Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master .

O ! run , Doll , run ; run , good Doll .

Go , call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick ;
But , ere they come , bid them o'er-read these letters ,
And well consider of them . Make good speed .

How many thousand of my poorest subjects 
Are at this hour asleep ! O sleep ! O gentle sleep !
Nature's soft nurse , how have I frighted thee ,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down 
And steep my senses in forgetfulness ?
Why rather , sleep , liest thou in smoky cribs ,
Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee ,
And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber ,
Than in the perfum'd chambers of the great ,
Under the canopies of costly state ,
And lull'd with sound of sweetest melody ?
O thou dull god ! why liest thou with the vile 
In loathsome beds , and leav'st the kingly couch 
A watch-case or a common 'larum bell ?
Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast 
Seel up the ship-boy's eyes , and rock his brains 
In cradle of the rude imperious surge ,
And in the visitation of the winds ,
Who take the ruffian billows by the top ,
Curling their monstrous heads , and hanging them 
With deaf'ning clamour in the slippery clouds ,
That with the hurly death itself awakes ?
Canst thou , O partial sleep ! give thy repose 
To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude ,
And in the calmest and most stillest night ,
With all appliances and means to boot ,
Deny it to a king ? Then , happy low , lie down !
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown .


Many good morrows to your majesty !

Is it good morrow , lords ?

'Tis one o'clock , and past .

Why then , good morrow to you all , my lords .
Have you read o'er the letters that I sent you ?

We have , my liege .

Then you perceive the body of our kingdom ,
How foul it is ; what rank diseases grow ,
And with what danger , near the heart of it .

It is but as a body , yet , distemper'd ,
Which to his former strength may be restor'd 
With good advice and little medicine :
My Lord Northumberland will soon be cool'd .

O God ! that one might read the book of fate ,
And see the revolution of the times 
Make mountains level , and the continent ,
Weary of solid firmness ,melt itself 
Into the sea ! and , other times , to see 
The beachy girdle of the ocean 
Too wide for Neptune's hips ; how chances mock ,
And changes fill the cup of alteration 
With divers liquors ! O ! if this were seen ,
The happiest youth , viewing his progress through ,
What perils past , what crosses to ensue ,
Would shut the book , and sit him down and die .
'Tis not ten years gone 
Since Richard and Northumberland , great friends ,
Did feast together , and in two years after 
Were they at wars : it is but eight years since 
This Percy was the man nearest my soul ,
Who like a brother toil'd in my affairs 
And laid his love and life under my foot ;
Yea , for my sake , even to the eyes of Richard 
Gave him defiance . But which of you was by ,


You , cousin Nevil , as I may remember ,
When Richard , with his eye brimful of tears ,
Then check'd and rated by Northumberland ,
Did speak these words , now prov'd a prophecy ?
'Northumberland , thou ladder , by the which 
My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne ;' 
Though then , God knows , I had no such intent ,
But that necessity so bow'd the state 
That I and greatness were compelled to kiss :
'The time shall come ,' thus did he follow it ,
'The time will come , that foul sin , gathering head ,
Shall break into corruption :' so went on ,
Foretelling this same time's condition 
And the division of our amity .

There is a history in all men's lives ,
Figuring the nature of the times deceas'd ;
The which observ'd , a man may prophesy ,
With a near aim , of the main chance of things 
As yet not come to life , which in their seeds 
And weak leginnings lie intreasured .
Such things become the hatch and brood of time ;
And by the necessary form of this 
King Richard might create a perfect guess 
That great Northumberland , then false to him ,
Would of that seed grow to a greater falseness ,
Which should not find a ground to root upon ,
Unless on you .

Are these things then necessities ?
Then let us meet them like necessities ;
And that same word even now cries out on us .
They say the bishop and Northumberland 
Are fifty thousand strong .

It cannot be , my lord !
Rumour doth double , like the voice and echo ,
The numbers of the fear'd . Please it your Grace 
To go to bed : upon my soul , my lord ,
The powers that you already have sent forth 
Shall bring this prize in very easily .
To comfort you the more , I have receiv'd 
A certain instance that Glendower is dead .
Your majesty hath been this fortnight ill ,
And these unseason'd hours perforce must add 
Unto your sickness .

I will take your counsel :
And were these inward wars once out of hand ,
We would , dear lords , unto the Holy Land .


Come on , come on , come on , sir ; give me your hand , sir , give me your hand , sir : an early stirrer , by the rood ! And how doth my good cousin Silence ?

Good morrow , good cousin Shallow .

And how doth my cousin , your bed-fellow ? and your fairest daughter and mine , my god-daughter Ellen ?

Alas ! a black ousel , cousin Shallow !

By yea and nay , sir , I dare say my cousin William is become a good scholar . He is at Oxford still , is he not ?

Indeed , sir , to my cost .

A' must , then , to the inns o' court shortly . I was once of Clement's Inn ; where I think they will talk of mad Shallow yet .

You were called 'lusty Shallow' then , cousin .

By the mass , I was called any thing ; and I would have done any thing indeed too , and roundly too . There was I , and Little John Doit of Staffordshire , and black George Barnes , and Francis Pickbone , and Will Squele a Cotswold man ; you had not four such swinge-bucklers in all the inns of court again : and , I may say to you , we knew where the bona-robas were , and had the best of them all at commandment . Then was Jack Falstaff , now Sir John , a boy , and page to Thomas Mowbray , Duke of Norfolk .

This Sir John , cousin , that comes hither anon about soldiers ?

The same Sir John , the very same . I saw him break Skogan's head at the court gate , when a' was a crack not thus high : and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish , a fruiterer , behind Gray's Inn . Jesu ! Jesu ! the mad days that I have spent ; and to see how many of mine old acquaintance are dead !

We shall all follow , cousin .

Certain , 'tis certain ; very sure , very sure : death , as the Psalmist saith , is certain to all ; all shall die . How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford fair ?

Truly , cousin , I was not there .

Death is certain . Is old Double of your town living yet ?

Dead , sir .

Jesu ! Jesu ! dead ! a' drew a good bow ; and dead ! a' shot a fine shoot : John a Gaunt loved him well , and betted much money on his head . Dead ! a' would have clapped i' the clout at twelve score ; and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half , that it would have done a man's heart good to see . How a score of ewes now ?

Thereafter as they be : a score of good ewes may be worth ten pounds .

And is old Double dead ?

Here come two of Sir John Falstaff's men , as I think .


Good morrow , honest gentlemen : I beseech you , which is Justice Shallow ?

I am Robert Shallow , sir ; a poor esquire of this county , and one of the king's justices of the peace : what is your good pleasure with me ?

My captain , sir , commends him to you ; my captain , Sir John Falstaff : a tall gentleman , by heaven , and a most gallant leader .

He greets me well , sir . I knew him a good backsword man . How doth the good knight ? may I ask how my lady his wife doth ?

Sir , pardon ; a soldier is better accommodated than with a wife .

It is well said , in faith , sir ; and it is well said indeed too . 'Better accommodated !' it is good ; yea indeed , is it : good phrases are surely and ever were , very commendable . Accommodated ! it comes of accommodo : very good ; a good phrase .

Pardon me , sir ; I have heard the word . 'Phrase ,' call you it ? By this good day , I know not the phrase ; but I will maintain the word with my sword to be a soldier-like word , and a word of exceeding good command , by heaven . Accommodated ; that is , when a man is , as they say , accommodated ; or , when a man is , being , whereby , a' may be thought to be accommodated , which is an excellent thing .


It is very just . Look , here comes good Sir John . Give me your good hand , give me your worship's good hand . By my troth , you look well and bear your years very well : welcome , good Sir John .

I am glad to see you well , good Master Robert Shallow . Master Surecard , as I think .

No , Sir John ; it is my cousin , Silence , in commission with me .

Good Master Silence , it well befits you should be of the peace .

Your good worship is welcome .

Fie ! this is hot weather , gentlemen .
Have you provided me here half a dozen sufficient men ?

Marry , have we , sir . Will you sit ?

Let me see them , I beseech you .

Where's the roll ? where's the roll ? where's the roll ? Let me see , let me see , let me see . So , so , so , so , so , so , so : yea , marry , sir : Ralph Mouldy ! let them appear as I call ; let them do so , let them do so . Let me see ; where is Mouldy ?

Here , an't please you .

What think you , Sir John ? a goodlimbed fellow ; young , strong , and of good friends .

Is thy name Mouldy ?

Yea , an't please you .

'Tis the more time thou wert used .

Ha , ha , ha ! most excellent , i' faith ! things that are mouldy lack use : very singular good . In faith , well said , Sir John ; very well said .

Prick him .

I was pricked well enough before , an you could have let me alone : my old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her drudgery : you need not to have pricked me ; there are other men fitter to go out than I .

Go to : peace , Mouldy ! you shall go . Mouldy , it is time you were spent .

Spent !

Peace , fellow , peace ! stand aside : know you where you are ? For the other , Sir John : let me see . Simon Shadow !

Yea , marry , let me have him to sit under : he's like to be a cold soldier .

Where's Shadow ?

Here , sir .

Shadow , whose son art thou ?

My mother's son , sir .

Thy mother's son ! like enough , and thy father's shadow : so the son of the female is the shadow of the male : it is often so , indeed ; but not of the father's substance .

Do you like him , Sir John ?

Shadow will serve for summer ; prick him , for we have a number of shadows to fill up the muster-book .

Thomas Wart ?

Where's he ?

Here , sir .

Is thy name Wart ?

Yea , sir .

Thou art a very ragged wart .

Shall I prick him , Sir John ?

It were superfluous ; for his apparel is built upon his back , and the whole frame stands upon pins : prick him no more .

Ha , ha , ha ! you can do it , sir ; you can do it : I commend you well . Francis Feeble !

Here , sir .

What trade art thou , Feeble ?

A woman's tailor , sir .

Shall I prick him , sir ?

You may ; but if he had been a man's tailor he'd have pricked you . Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat ?

I will do my good will , sir : you can have no more .

Well said , good woman's tailor ! well said , courageous Feeble ! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse . Prick the woman's tailor ; well , Master Shallow ; deep , Master Shallow .

I would Wart might have gone , sir .

I would thou wert a man's tailor , that thou mightst mend him , and make him fit to go . I cannot put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so many thousands : let that suffice , most forcible Feeble .

It shall suffice , sir .

I am bound to thee , reverend Feeble .
Who is next ?

Peter Bullcalf o' the green !

Yea , marry , let's see Bullcalf .

Here , sir .

'Fore God , a likely fellow ! Come , prick me Bullcalf till he roar again .

O Lord ! good my lord captain ,

What ! dost thou roar before thou art pricked ?

O Lord , sir ! I am a diseased man .

What disease hast thou ?

A whoreson cold , sir ; a cough , sir , which I caught with ringing in the king's affairs upon his coronation day , sir .

Come , thou shalt go to the wars in a gown ; we will have away thy cold ; and I will take such order that thy friends shall ring for thee . Is here all ?

Here is two more called than your number ; you must have but four here , sir : and so , I pray you , go in with me to dinner .

Come , I will go drink with you , but I cannot tarry dinner . I am glad to see you , by my troth , Master Shallow .

O , Sir John , do you remember since we lay all night in the windmill in Saint George's fields ?

No more of that , good Master Shallow , no more of that .

Ha ! it was a merry night . And is Jane Nightwork alive ?

She lives , Master Shallow .

She never could away with me .

Never , never ; she would always say she could not abide Master Shallow .

By the mass , I could anger her to the heart . She was then a bona-roba . Doth she hold her own well ?

Old , old , Master Shallow .

Nay she must be old ; she cannot choose but be old ; certain she's old ; and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn .

That's fifty-five year ago .

Ha ! cousin Silence , that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I have seen . Ha ! Sir John , said I well ?

We have heard the chimes at midnight , Master Shallow .

That we have , that we have , that we have ; in faith , Sir John , we have . Our watchword was , 'Hem , boys !' Come , let's to dinner ; come , let's to dinner . Jesus , the days that we have seen ! Come , come .


Good Master Corporate Bardolph , stand my friend , and here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you . In very truth , sir , I had as lief be hanged , sir , as go : and yet , for mine own part , sir , I do not care ; but rather , because I am unwilling , and , for mine own part , have a desire to stay with my friends : else , sir , I did not care , for mine own part , so much .

Go to ; stand aside .

And , good Master corporal captain , for my old dame's sake , stand my friend : she has nobody to do any thing about her , when I am gone ; and she is old , and cannot help herself . You shall have forty , sir .

Go to ; stand aside .

By my troth , I care not ; a man can die but once ; we owe God a death . I'll ne'er bear a base mind : an't be my destiny , so ; an't be not , so . No man's too good to serve's prince ; and let it go which way it will , he that dies this year is quit for the next .

Well said ; thou'rt a good fellow .

Faith , I'll bear no base mind .


Come , sir , which men shall I have ?

Four , of which you please .

Sir , a word with you . I have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf .

Go to ; well .

Come , Sir John , which four will you have ?

Do you choose for me .

Marry , then , Mouldy , Bullcalf , Feeble , and Shadow .

Mouldy , and Bullcalf : for you , Mouldy , stay at home till you are past service : and for your part , Bullcalf , grow till you come unto it : I will none of you .

Sir John , Sir John , do not yourself wrong : they are your likeliest men , and I would have you served with the best .

Will you tell me , Master Shallow , how to choose a man ? Care I for the limb , the thewes , the stature , bulk , and big assemblance of a man ! Give me the spirit , Master Shallow . Here's Wart ; you see what a ragged appearance it is : a' shall charge you and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer , come off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's bucket . And this same half-faced fellow , Shadow , give me this man : he presents no mark to the enemy ; the foeman may with as great aim level at the edge of a penknife . And , for a retreat ; how swiftly will this Feeble the woman's tailor run off ! O ! give me the spare men , and spare me the great ones . Put me a caliver into Wart's hand , Bardolph .

Hold , Wart , traverse ; thus , thus , thus .

Come , manage me your caliver . So : very well : go to : very good : exceeding good . O , give me always a little , lean , old , chopp'd , bald shot . Well said , i' faith , Wart ; thou'rt a good scab : hold , there's a tester for thee .

He is not his craft's master , he doth not do it right . I remember at Mile-end Green , when I lay at Clement's Inn ,I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show ,there was a little quiver fellow , and a' would manage you his piece thus : and a' would about and about , and come you in , and come you in ; 'rah , tah , tah ,' would a' say ; 'bounce ,' would a' say ; and away again would a' go , and again would a' come : I shall never see such a fellow .

These fellows will do well , Master Shallow . God keep you , Master Silence : I will not use many words with you . Fare you well , gentlemen both : I thank you : I must a dozen mile to-night . Bardolph , give the soldiers coats .

Sir John , the Lord bless you ! and prosper your affairs ! God send us peace ! At your return visit our house ; let our old acquaintance be renewed : peradventure I will with ye to the court .

'Fore God I would you would , Master Shallow .

Go to ; I have spoke at a word . God keep you .

Fare you well , gentle gentlemen .

As I return , I will fetch off these justices : I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow . Lord , Lord ! how subject we old men are to this vice of lying . This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street ; and every third word a lie , duer paid to the hearer than the Turk's tribute . I do remember him at Clement's Inn like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring : when a' was naked he was for all the world like a forked radish , with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife : a' was so forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were invincible : a' was the very genius of famine ; yet lecherous as a monkey , and the whores called him mandrake : a' came ever in the rearward of the fashion and sung those tunes to the over-scutched huswives that he heard the carmen whistle , and sware they were his fancies or his good-nights . And now is this Vice's dagger become a squire , and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him ; and I'll be sworn a' never saw him but once in the Tilt-yard , and then he burst his head for crowding among the marshal's men . I saw it and told John a Gaunt he beat his own name ; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin ; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him , a court ; and now has he land and beefs . Well , I will be acquainted with him , if I return ; and it shall go hard but I will make him a philosopher's two stones to me . If the young dace be a bait for the old pike , I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him . Let time shape , and there an end .

What is this forest call'd ?

'Tis Gaultree Forest , an't shall please your Grace .

Here stand , my lords , and send discovers forth ,
To know the numbers of our enemies .

We have sent forth already .

'Tis well done .
My friends and brethren in these great affairs ,
I must acquaint you that I have receiv'd 
New-dated letters from Northumberland ;
Their cold intent , tenour and substance , thus :
Here doth he wish his person , with such powers 
As might hold sortance with his quality ;
The which he could not levy ; whereupon 
He is retir'd , to ripe his growing fortunes ,
To Scotland ; and concludes in hearty prayers 
That your attempts may overlive the hazard 
And fearful meeting of their opposite .

Thus do the hopes we have in him touch ground 
And dash themselves to pieces .


Now , what news ?

West of this forest , scarcely off a mile ,
In goodly form comes on the enemy ;
And , by the ground they hide , I judge their number 
Upon or near the rate of thirty thousand .

The just proportion that we gave them out .
Let us sway on and face them in the field .


What well-appointed leader fronts us here ?

I think it is my Lord of Westmoreland .

Health and fair greeting from our general .
The Prince , Lord John and Duke of Lancaster .

Say on , my Lord of Westmoreland , in peace ,
What doth concern your coming .

Then , my lord ,
Unto your Grace do I in chief address 
The substance of my speech . If that rebellion 
Came like itself , in base and abject routs ,
Led on by bloody youth , guarded with rags ,
And countenanc'd by boys and beggary ;
I say , if damn'd commotion so appear'd ,
In his true , native , and most proper shape ,
You , reverend father , and these noble lords 
Had not been here , to dress the ugly form 
Of base and bloody insurrection 
With your fair honours . You , lord archbishop ,
Whose see is by a civil peace maintain'd ,
Whose beard the silver hand of peace hath touch'd ,
Whose learning and good letters peace hath tutor'd ,
Whose white investments figure innocence ,
The dove and very blessed spirit of peace ,
Wherefore do you so ill translate yourself 
Out of the speech of peace that bears such grace 
Into the harsh and boisterous tongue of war ;
Turning your books to greaves , your ink to blood ,
Your pens to lances , and your tongue divine 
To a loud trumpet and a point of war ?

Wherefore do I this ? so the question stands .
Briefly to this end : we are all diseas'd ;
And , with our surfeiting and wanton hours 
Have brought ourselves into a burning fever ,
And we must bleed for it : of which disease 
Our late king , Richard , being infected , died .
But , my most noble Lord of Westmoreland ,
I take not on me here as a physician ,
Nor do I as an enemy to peace 
Troop in the throngs of military men ;
But rather show a while like fearful war ,
To diet rank minds sick of happiness 
And purge the obstructions which begin to stop 
Our very veins of life . Hear me more plainly :
I have in equal balance justly weigh'd 
What wrongs our arms may do , what wrongs we suffer ,
And find our griefs heavier than our offences .
We see which way the stream of time doth run 
And are enforc'd from our most quiet sphere 
By the rough torrent of occasion ;
And have the summary of all our griefs ,
When time shall serve , to show in articles ,
Which long ere this we offer'd to the king ,
And might by no suit gain our audience .
When we are wrong'd and would unfold our griefs ,
We are denied access unto his person 
Even by those men that most have done us wrong .
The dangers of the days but newly gone ,
Whose memory is written on the earth 
With yet appearing blood ,and the examples 
Of every minute's instance , present now ,
Have put us in these ill-beseeming arms ;
Not to break peace , or any branch of it ,
But to establish here a peace indeed ,
Concurring both in name and quality .

When ever yet was your appeal denied ?
Wherein have you been galled by the king ?
What peer hath been suborn'd to grate on you ,
That you should seal this lawless bloody book 
Of forg'd rebellion with a seal divine ,
And consecrate commotion's bitter edge ?

My brother general , the commonwealth ,
To brother born an household cruelty ,
I make my quarrel in particular .

There is no need of any such redress ;
Or if there were , it not belongs to you .

Why not to him in part , and to us all 
That feel the bruises of the days before ,
And suffer the condition of these times 
To lay a heavy and unequal hand 
Upon our honours ?

O ! my good Lord Mowbray ,
Construe the times to their necessities ,
And you shall say indeed , it is the time ,
And not the king , that doth you injuries .
Yet , for your part , it not appears to me 
Either from the king or in the present time 
That you should have an inch of any ground 
To build a grief on : were you not restor'd 
To all the Duke of Norfolk's signories ,
Your noble and right well-remember'd father's ?

What thing , in honour , had my father lost ,
That need to be reviv'd and breath'd in me ?
The king that lov'd him as the state stood then ,
Was force perforce compell'd to banish him :
And then that Harry Bolingbroke and he ,
Being mounted and both roused in their seats ,
Their neighing coursers daring of the spur ,
Their armed staves in charge , their beavers down ,
Their eyes of fire sparkling through sights of steel ,
And the loud trumpet blowing them together ,
Then , then , when there was nothing could have stay'd 
My father from the breast of Bolingbroke ,
O ! when the king did throw his warder down ,
His own life hung upon the staff he threw ;
Then threw he down himself and all their lives 
That by indictment and by dint of sword 
Have since miscarried under Bolingbroke .

You speak , Lord Mowbray , now you know not what .
The Earl of Hereford was reputed then 
In England the most valiant gentleman :
Who knows on whom Fortune would then have smil'd ?
But if your father had been victor there ,
He ne'er had borne it out of Coventry ;
For all the country in a general voice 
Cried hate upon him ; and all their prayers and love 
Were set on Hereford , whom they doted on 
And bless'd and grac'd indeed , more than the king .
But this is mere digression from my purpose .
Here come I from our princely general 
To know your griefs ; to tell you from his Grace 
That he will give you audience ; and wherein 
It shall appear that your demands are just ,
You shall enjoy them ; every thing set off 
That might so much as think you enemies .

But he hath forc'd us to compel this offer ,
And it proceeds from policy , not love .

Mowbray , you overween to take it so .
This offer comes from mercy , not from fear :
For , lo ! within a ken our army lies 
Upon mine honour , all too confident 
To give admittance to a thought of fear .
Our battle is more full of names than yours ,
Our men more perfect in the use of arms ,
Our armour all as strong , our cause the best ;
Then reason will our hearts should be as good :
Say you not then our offer is compell'd .

Well , by my will we shall admit no parley .

That argues but the shame of your offence :
A rotten case abides no handling .

Hath the Prince John a full commission ,
In very ample virtue of his father ,
To hear and absolutely to determine 
Of what conditions we shall stand upon ?

That is intended in the general's name .
I muse you make so slight a question .

Then take , my Lord of Westmoreland , this schedule ,
For this contains our general grievances :
Each several article herein redress'd ;
All members of our cause , both here and hence ,
That are insinew'd to this action ,
Acquitted by a true substantial form 
And present execution of our wills 
To us and to our purposes consign'd ;
We come within our awful banks again 
And knit our powers to the arm of peace .

This will I show the general . Please you , lords ,
In sight of both our battles we may meet ;
And either end in peace , which God so frame !
Or to the place of difference call the swords 
Which must decide it .

My lord , we will do so .


There is a thing within my bosom tells me 
That no conditions of our peace can stand .

Fear you not that : if we can make our peace 
Upon such large terms , and so absolute 
As our condition shall consist upon ,
Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains .

Yea , but our valuation shall be such 
That every slight and false-derived cause ,
Yea , every idle , nice , and wanton reason 
Shall to the king taste of this action ;
That , were our royal faiths martyrs in love ,
We shall be winnow'd with so rough a wind 
That even our corn shall seem as light as chaff 
And good from bad find no partition .

No , no , my lord . Note this ; the king is weary 
Of dainty and such picking grievances :
For he hath found to end one doubt by death 
Revives two greater in the heirs of life ;
And therefore will he wipe his tables clean ,
And keep no tell-tale to his memory 
That may repeat and history his loss 
To new remembrance ; for full well he knows 
He cannot so precisely weed this land 
As his misdoubts present occasion :
His foes are so enrooted with his friends 
That , plucking to unfix an enemy ,
He doth unfasten so and shake a friend .
So that this land , like an offensive wife ,
That hath enrag'd him on to offer strokes ,
As he is striking , holds his infant up 
And hangs resolv'd correction in the arm 
That was uprear'd to execution .

Besides , the king hath wasted all his rods 
On late offenders , that he now doth lack 
The very instruments of chastisement ;
So that his power , like to a fangless lion ,
May offer , but not hold .

'Tis very true :
And therefore be assur'd , my good lord marshal ,
If we do now make our atonement well ,
Our peace will , like a broken limb united ,
Grow stronger for the breaking .

Be it so .
Here is return'd my Lord of Westmoreland .


The prince is here at hand : pleaseth your lordship ,
To meet his Grace just distance 'tween our armies ?

Your Grace of York , in God's name then , set forward .

Before , and greet his Grace : my lord , we come .

You are well encounter'd here , my cousin Mowbray :
Good day to you , gentle lord archbishop ;
And so to you , Lord Hastings , and to all .
My Lord of York , it better show'd with you ,
When that your flock , assembled by the bell ,
Encircled you to hear with reverence 
Your exposition on the holy text 
Than now to see you here an iron man ,
Cheering a rout of rebels with your drum ,
Turning the word to sword and life to death .
That man that sits within a monarch's heart 
And ripens in the sunshine of his favour ,
Would he abuse the countenance of the king ,
Alack ! what mischief might he set abroach 
In shadow of such greatness . With you , lord bishop ,
It is even so . Who hath not heard it spoken 
How deep you were within the books of God ?
To us , the speaker in his parliament ;
To us the imagin'd voice of God himself ;
The very opener and intelligencer 
Between the grace , the sanctities of heaven ,
And our dull workings . O ! who shall believe 
But you misuse the reverence of your place ,
Employ the countenance and grace of heaven ,
As a false favourite doth his prince's name ,
In deeds dishonourable ? You have taken up ,
Under the counterfeited zeal of God ,
The subjects of his substitute , my father ;
And both against the peace of heaven and him 
Have here upswarm'd them .

Good my Lord of Lancaster ,
I am not here against your father's peace ;
But , as I told my Lord of Westmoreland ,
The time misorder'd doth , in common sense ,
Crowd us and crush us to this monstrous form ,
To hold our safety up . I sent your Grace 
The parcels and particulars of our grief ,
The which hath been with scorn shov'd from the court ,
Whereon this Hydra son of war is born ;
Whose dangerous eyes may well be charm'd asleep 
With grant of our most just and right desires ,
And true obedience , of this madness cur'd ,
Stoop tamely to the foot of majesty .

If not , we ready are to try our fortunes 
To the last man .

And though we here fall down ,
We have supplies to second our attempt :
If they miscarry , theirs shall second them ;
And so success of mischief shall be born ,
And heir from heir shall hold this quarrel up 
Whiles England shall have generation .

You are too shallow , Hastings , much too shallow ,
To sound the bottom of the after-times .

Pleaseth your Grace , to answer them directly 
How far forth you do like their articles .

I like them all , and do allow them well ;
And swear here , by the honour of my blood ,
My father's purposes have been mistook ,
And some about him have too lavishly 
Wrested his meaning and authority .
My lord , these griefs shall be with speed redress'd ;
Upon my soul , they shall . If this may please you ,
Discharge your powers unto their several counties ,
As we will ours : and here between the armies 
Let's drink together friendly and embrace ,
That all their eyes may bear those tokens home 
Of our restored love and amity .

I take your princely word for these redresses .

I give it you , and will maintain my word :
And thereupon I drink unto your Grace .

Go , captain , and deliver to the army 
This news of peace : let them have pay , and part :
I know it will well please them : hie thee , captain .


To you , my noble Lord of Westmoreland .

I pledge your Grace : and , if you knew what pains 
I have bestow'd to breed this present peace ,
You would drink freely ; but my love to you 
Shall show itself more openly hereafter .

I do not doubt you .

I am glad of it .
Health to my lord and gentle cousin , Mowbray .

You wish me health in very happy season ;
For I am , on the sudden , something ill .

Against ill chances men are ever merry ,
But heaviness foreruns the good event .

Therefore be merry , coz ; since sudden sorrow 
Serves to say thus , Some good thing comes to morrow .

Believe me , I am passing light in spirit .

So much the worse if your own rule be true .


The word of peace is render'd : hark , how they shout !

This had been cheerful , after victory .

A peace is of the nature of a conquest ;
For then both parties nobly are subdu'd ,
And neither party loser .

Go , my lord ,
And let our army be discharged too .

And , good my lord , so please you , let our trains 
March by us , that we may peruse the men 
We should have cop'd withal .

Go , good Lord Hastings ,
And , ere they be dismiss'd , let them march by .


I trust , lords , we shall lie to-night together .

Now , cousin , wherefore stands our army still ?

The leaders , having charge from you to stand ,
Will not go off until they hear you speak .

They know their duties .


My lord , our army is dispers'd already :
Like youthful steers unyok'd , they take their courses 
East , west , north , south ; or , like a school broke up ,
Each hurries toward his home and sporting-place .

Good tidings , my Lord Hastings ; for the which 
I do arrest thee , traitor , of high treason :
And you , lord archbishop , and you , Lord Mowbray ,
Of capital treason I attach you both .

Is this proceeding just and honourable ?

Is your assembly so ?

Will you thus break your faith ?

I pawn'd thee none .
I promis'd you redress of these same grievances 
Whereof you did complain ; which , by mine honour ,
I will perform with a most Christian care .
But for you , rebels , look to taste the due 
Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours .
Most shallowly did you these arms commence ,
Fondly brought here and foolishly sent hence .
Strike up our drums ! pursue the scatter'd stray :
God , and not we , hath safely fought to-day .
Some guard these traitors to the block of death ;
Treason's true bed , and yielder up of breath .


What's your name , sir ? of what condition are you , and of what place , I pray ?

I am a knight , sir ; and my name is Colevile of the dale .

Well then , Colevile is your name , a knight is your degree , and your place the dale : Colevile shall still be your name , a traitor your degree , and the dungeon your place , a place deep enough ; so shall you be still Colevile of the dale .

Are not you Sir John Falstaff ?

As good a man as he , sir , whoe'er I am . Do ye yield , sir , or shall I sweat for you ? If I do sweat , they are the drops of thy lovers , and they weep for thy death : therefore rouse up fear and trembling , and do observance to my mercy .

I think you are Sir John Falstaff , and in that thought yield me .

I have a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine , and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my name . An I had but a belly of any indifferency , I were simply the most active fellow in Europe : my womb , my womb , my womb undoes me . Here comes our general .


The heat is past , follow no further now .
Call in the powers , good cousin Westmoreland .

Now , Falstaff , where have you been all this while ?
When everything is ended , then you come :
These tardy tricks of yours will , on my life ,
One time or other break some gallows' back .

I would be sorry , my lord , but it should be thus : I never knew yet but rebuke and check was the reward of valour . Do you think me a swallow , an arrow , or a bullet ? have I , in my poor and old motion , the expedition of thought ? I have speeded hither with the very extremest inch of possibility ; I have foundered nine score and odd posts ; and here , travel-tainted as I am , have , in my pure and immaculate valour , taken Sir John Colevile of the dale , a most furious knight and valorous enemy . But what of that ? he saw me , and yielded ; that I may justly say with the hook-nosed fellow of Rome , 'I came , saw , and overcame .' 

It was more of his courtesy than your deserving .

I know not : here he is , and here I yield him ; and I beseech your Grace , let it be booked with the rest of this day's deeds ; or , by the Lord , I will have it in a particular ballad else , with mine own picture on the top on't , Colevile kissing my foot . To the which course if I be enforced , if you do not all show like gilt two-pences to me , and I in the clear sky of fame o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of the element , which show like pins' heads to her , believe not the word of the noble . Therefore let me have right , and let desert mount .

Thine's too heavy to mount .

Let it shine then .

Thine's too thick to shine .

Let it do something , my good lord , that may do me good , and call it what you will .

Is thy name Colevile ?

It is , my lord .

A famous rebel art thou , Colevile .

And a famous true subject took him .

I am , my lord , but as my betters are 
That led me hither : had they been rul'd by me 
You should have won them dearer than you have .

I know not how they sold themselves : but thou , like a kind fellow , gavest thyself away gratis , and I thank thee for thee .


Have you left pursuit ?

Retreat is made and execution stay'd .

Send Colevile with his confederates 
To York , to present execution .
Blunt , lead him hence , and see you guard him sure .

And now dispatch we toward the court , my lords :
I hear , the king my father is sore sick :
Our news shall go before us to his majesty ,
Which , cousin 

, you shall bear , to comfort him ;
And we with sober speed will follow you .

My lord , I beseech you , give me leave to go ,
Through Gloucestershire , and when you come to court 
Stand my good lord , pray , in your good report .

Fare you well , Falstaff : I , in my condition ,
Shall better speak of you than you deserve .


I would you had but the wit : 'twere better than your dukedom . Good faith , this same young sober-blooded boy doth not love me ; nor a man cannot make him laugh ; but that's no marvel , he drinks no wine . There's never none of these demure boys come to any proof ; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood , and making many fish-meals , that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness ; and then , when they marry , they get wenches . They are generally fools and cowards , which some of us should be too but for inflammation . A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it . It ascends me into the brain ; dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it ; makes it apprehensive , quick , forgetive , full of nimble fiery and delectable shapes ; which , deliver'd o'er to the voice , the tongue , which is the birth , becomes excellent wit . The second property of your excellent sherris is , the warming of the blood ; which , before cold and settled , left the liver white and pale , which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice : but the sherris warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme . It illumineth the face , which , as a beacon , gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom , man , to arm ; and then the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain , the heart , who , great and puffed up with this retinue , doth any deed of courage ; and this valour comes of sherris . So that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack , for that sets it a-work ; and leaining , a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil till sack commences it and sets it in act and use . Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant ; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father , he hath , like lean , sterile , and bare land , manured , husbanded , and tilled , with excellent endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris , that he is become very hot and valiant . If I had a thousand sons , the first human principle I would teach them should be , to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack .

How now , Bardolph ?

The army is discharged all and gone .

Let them go . I'll through Gloucestershire ; and there will I visit Master Robert Shallow , esquire : I have him already tempering between my finger and my thumb , and shortly will I seal with him . Come away .


Now , lords , if God doth give successful end 
To this debate that bleedeth at our doors ,
We will our youth lead on to higher fields 
And draw no swords but what are sanctified .
Our navy is address'd , our power collected ,
Our substitutes in absence well invested ,
And everything lies level to our wish :
Only , we want a little personal strength ;
And pause us , till these rebels , now afoot ,
Come underneath the yoke of government .

Both which we doubt not but your majesty 
Shall soon enjoy .

Humphrey , my son of Gloucester ,
Where is the prince your brother ?

I think he's gone to hunt , my lord , at Windsor .

And how accompanied ?

I do not know , my lord .

Is not his brother Thomas of Clarence with him ?

No , my good lord ; he is in presence here .

What would my lord and father ?

Nothing but well to thee , Thomas of Clarence .
How chance thou art not with the prince thy brother ?
He loves thee , and thou dost neglect him , Thomas ;
Thou hast a better place in his affection 
Than all thy brothers : cherish it , my boy ,
And noble offices thou mayst effect 
Of mediation , after I am dead ,
Between his greatness and thy other brethren :
Therefore omit him not ; blunt not his love ,
Nor lose the good advantage of his grace 
By seeming cold or careless of his will ;
For he is gracious , if he be observ'd :
He hath a tear for pity and a hand 
Open as day for melting charity ;
Yet , notwithstanding , being incens'd , he's flint ;
As humorous as winter , and as sudden 
As flaws congealed in the spring of day .
His temper therefore must be well observ'd :
Chide him for faults , and do it reverently ,
When you perceive his blood inclin'd to mirth ;
But , being moody , give him line and scope ,
Till that his passions , like a whale on ground ,
Confound themselves with working . Learn this , Thomas ,
And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends ,
A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in ,
That the united vessel of their blood ,
Mingled with venom of suggestion 
As , force perforce , the age will pour it in 
Shall never leak , though it do work as strong 
As aconitum or rash gunpowder .

I shall observe him with all care and love .

Why art thou not at Windsor with him , Thomas ?

He is not there to-day ; he dines in London .

And how accompanied ? canst thou tell that ?

With Poins and other his continual followers .

Most subject is the fattest soil to weeds ;
And he , the noble image of my youth ,
Is overspread with them : therefore my grief 
Stretches itself beyond the hour of death :
The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape 
In forms imaginary the unguided days 
And rotten times that you shall look upon 
When I am sleeping with my ancestors .
For when his headstrong riot hath no curb ,
When rage and hot blood are his counsellors ,
When means and lavish manners meet together ,
O ! with what wings shall his affections fly 
Towards fronting peril and oppos'd decay .

My gracious lord , you look beyond him quite :
The prince but studies his companions 
Like a strange tongue , wherein , to gain the language ,
'Tis needful that the most immodest word 
Be look'd upon , and learn'd ; which once attain'd ,
Your highness knows , comes to no further use 
But to be known and hated . So , like gross terms ,
The prince will in the perfectness of time 
Cast off his followers ; and their memory 
Shall as a pattern or a measure live ,
By which his Grace must mete the lives of others ,
Turning past evils to advantages .

'Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb 
In the dead carrion .

Who's here ? Westmoreland !

Health to my sovereign , and new happiness 
Added to that that I am to deliver !
Prince John your son doth kiss your Grace's hand :
Mowbray , the Bishop Scroop , Hastings and all 
Are brought to the correction of your law .
There is not now a rebel's sword unsheath'd ,
But Peace puts forth her olive everywhere .
The manner how this action hath been borne 
Here at more leisure may your highness read ,
With every course in his particular .

O Westmoreland ! thou art a summer bird ,
Which ever in the haunch of winter sings 
The lifting up of day .

Look ! here's more news .

From enemies heaven keep your majesty ;
And , when they stand against you , may they fall 
As those that I am come to tell you of !
The Earl Northumberland , and the Lord Bardolph ,
With a great power of English and of Scots ,
Are by the sheriff of Yorkshire overthrown .
The manner and true order of the fight 
This packet , please it you , contains at large .

And wherefore should these good news make me sick ?
Will Fortune never come with both hands full 
But write her fair words still in foulest letters ?
She either gives a stomach and no food ;
Such are the poor , in health ; or else a feast 
And takes away the stomach ; such are the rich ,
That have abundance and enjoy it not .
I should rejoice now at this happy news ,
And now my sight fails , and my brain is giddy .
O me ! come near me , now I am much ill .

Comfort , your majesty !

O my royal father !

My sovereign lord , cheer up yourself : look up !

Be patient , princes : you do know these fits 
Are with his highness very ordinary :
Stand from him , give him air ; he'll straight be well .

No , no ; he cannot long hold out these pangs :
The incessant care and labour of his mind 
Hath wrought the mure that should confine it in 
So thin , that life looks through and will break out .

The people fear me ; for they do observe 
Unfather'd heirs and loathly births of nature :
The seasons change their manners , as the year 
Had found some months asleep and leap'd them over .

The river hath thrice flow'd , no ebb between ;
And the old folk , time's doting chronicles ,
Say it did so a little time before 
That our great-grandsire , Edward , sick'd and died .

Speak lower , princes , for the king recovers .

This apoplexy will certain be his end .

I pray you take me up , and bear me hence 
Into some other chamber : softly , pray .

Let there be no noise made , my gentle friends ;
Unless some dull and favourable hand 
Will whisper music to my weary spirit .

Call for the music in the other room .

Set me the crown upon my pillow here .

His eye is hollow , and he changes much .

Less noise , less noise !


Who saw the Duke of Clarence ?

I am here , brother , full of heaviness .

How now ! rain within doors , and none abroad !
How doth the king ?

Exceeding ill .

Heard he the good news yet ?
Tell it him .

He alter'd much upon the hearing it .

If he be sick with joy , he will recover without physic .

Not so much noise , my lords . Sweet prince , speak low ;
The king your father is dispos'd to sleep .

Let us withdraw into the other room .

Will't please your Grace to go along with us ?

No ; I will sit and watch here by the king .

Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow ,
Being so troublesome a bedfellow ?
O polish'd perturbation ! golden care !
That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide 
To many a watchful night ! Sleep with it now !
Yet not so sound , and half so deeply sweet 
As he whose brow with homely biggin bound 
Snores out the watch of night . O majesty !
When thou dost pinch thy bearer , thou dost sit 
Like a rich armour worn in heat of day ,
That scalds with safety . By his gates of breath 
There lies a downy feather which stirs not :
Did he suspire , that light and weightless down 
Perforce must move . My gracious lord ! my father !
This sleep is sound indeed ; this is a sleep 
That from this golden rigol hath divorc'd 
So many English kings . Thy due from me 
Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood ,
Which nature , love , and filial tenderness 
Shall , O dear father ! pay thee plenteously :
My due from thee is this imperial crown ,
Which , as immediate from thy place and blood ,
Derives itself to me . Lo ! here it sits ,

Which heaven shall guard ; and put the world's whole strength 
Into one giant arm , it shall not force 
This lineal honour from me . This from thee 
Will I to mine leave , as 'tis left to me .


Warwick ! Gloucester ! Clarence !


Doth the king call ?

What would your majesty ? How fares your Grace ?

Why did you leave me here alone , my lords ?

We left the prince my brother here , my liege ,
Who undertook to sit and watch by you .

The Prince of Wales ! Where is he ? let me see him :
He is not here .

This door is open ; he is gone this way .

He came not through the chamber where we stay'd .

Where is the crown ? who took it from my pillow ?

When we withdrew , my liege , we left it here .

The prince hath ta'en it hence : go , seek him out .
Is he so hasty that he doth suppose 
My sleep my death ?
Find him , my Lord of Warwick ; chide him hither .

This part of his conjoins with my disease ,
And helps to end me . See , sons , what things you are !
How quickly nature falls into revolt 
When gold becomes her object !
For this the foolish over-careful fathers 
Have broke their sleeps with thoughts ,
Their brains with care , their bones with industry ;
For this they have engrossed and pil'd up 
The canker'd heaps of strange-achieved gold ;
For this they have been thoughtful to invest 
Their sons with arts and martial exercises :
When , like the bee , culling from every flower 
The virtuous sweets ,
Our thighs packed with wax , our mouths with honey ,
We bring it to the hive , and like the bees ,
Are murder'd for our pains . This bitter taste 
Yield his engrossments to the ending father .


Now , where is he that will not stay so long 

Till his friend sickness hath determin'd me ?

My lord , I found the prince in the next room ,
Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks ,
With such a deep demeanour in great sorrow 
That tyranny , which never quaff'd but blood ,
Would , by beholding him , have wash'd his knife 
With gentle eye-drops . He is coming hither .

But wherefore did he take away the crown ?


Lo , where he comes . Come hither to me , Harry .
Depart the chamber , leave us here alone .

I never thought to hear you speak again .

Thy wish was father , Harry , to that thought :
I stay too long by thee , I weary thee .
Dost thou so hunger for my empty chair 
That thou wilt needs invest thee with mine honours 
Before thy hour be ripe ? O foolish youth !
Thou seek'st the greatness that will overwhelm thee .
Stay but a little ; for my cloud of dignity 
Is held from falling with so weak a wind 
That it will quickly drop : my day is dim .
Thou hast stol'n that which after some few hours 
Were thine without offence ; and at my death 
Thou hast seal'd up my expectation :
Thy life did manifest thou lov'dst me not ,
And thou wilt have me die assur'd of it .
Thou hid'st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts ,
Which thou hast whetted on thy stony heart ,
To stab at half an hour of my life .
What ! canst thou not forbear me half an hour ?
Then get thee gone and dig my grave thyself ,
And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear 
That thou art crowned , not that I am dead .
Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse 
Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head :
Only compound me with forgotten dust ;
Give that which gave thee life unto the worms .
Pluck down my officers , break my decrees ;
For now a time is come to mock at form .
Harry the Fifth is crown'd ! Up , vanity !
Down , royal state ! all you sage counsellors , hence !
And to the English court assemble now ,
From every region , apes of idleness !
Now , neighbour confines , purge you of your scum :
Have you a ruffian that will swear , drink , dance ,
Revel the night , rob , murder , and commit 
The oldest sins the newest kind of ways ?
Be happy , he will trouble you no more :
England shall double gild his treble guilt .
England shall give him office , honour , might ;
For the fifth Harry from curb'd licence plucks 
The muzzle of restraint , and the wild dog 
Shall flesh his tooth in every innocent .
O my poor kingdom ! sick with civil blows .
When that my care could not withhold thy riots ,
What wilt thou do when riot is thy care ?
O ! thou wilt be a wilderness again ,
Peopled with wolves , thy old inhabitants .

O ! pardon me , my liege ; but for my tears ,
The moist impediments unto my speech ,
I had forestall'd this dear and deep rebuke 
Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard 
The course of it so far . There is your crown ;
And he that wears the crown immortally 
Long guard it yours ! If I affect it more 
Than as your honour and as your renown ,
Let me no more from this obedience rise ,
Which my most true and inward duteous spirit 
Teacheth ,this prostrate and exterior bending .
God witness with me , when I here came in ,
And found no course of breath within your majesty ,
How cold it struck my heart ! if I do feign ,
O ! let me in my present wildness die 
And never live to show the incredulous world 
The noble change that I have purposed .
Coming to look on you , thinking you dead ,
And dead almost , my liege , to think you were ,
I spake unto the crown as having sense ,
And thus upbraided it : 'The care on thee depending 
Hath fed upon the body of my father ;
Therefore , thou best of gold art worst of gold :
Other , less fine in carat , is more precious ,
Preserving life in medicine potable :
But thou most fine , most honour'd , most renown'd ,
Hast eat thy bearer up .' Thus , my most royal liege ,
Accusing it , I put it on my head ,
To try with it , as with an enemy 
That had before my face murder'd my father ,
The quarrel of a true inheritor .
But if it did infect my blood with joy ,
Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride ;
If any rebel or vain spirit of mine 
Did with the least affection of a welcome 
Give entertainment to the might of it ,
Let God for ever keep it from my head ,
And make me as the poorest vassal is 
That doth with awe and terror kneel to it !

O my son !
God put it in thy mind to take it hence ,
That thou mightst win the more thy father's love ,
Pleading so wisely in excuse of it .
Come hither , Harry : sit thou by my bed ;
And hear , I think , the very latest counsel 
That ever I shall breathe . God knows , my son ,
By what by-paths and indirect crook'd ways 
I met this crown ; and I myself know well 
How troublesome it sat upon my head :
To thee it shall descend with better quiet ,
Better opinion , better confirmation ;
For all the soil of the achievement goes 
With me into the earth . It seem'd in me 
But as an honour snatch'd with boisterous hand ,
And I had many living to upbraid 
My gain of it by their assistances ;
Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed ,
Wounding supposed peace . All these bold fears 
Thou seest with peril I have answered ;
For all my reign hath been but as a scene 
Acting that argument ; and now my death 
Changes the mode : for what in me was purchas'd ,
Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort ;
So thou the garment wear'st successively .
Yet , though thou stand'st more sure than I could do ,
Thou art not firm enough , since griefs are green ;
And all my friends , which thou must make thy friends ,
Have but their stings and teeth newly ta'en out ;
By whose fell working I was first advanc'd ,
And by whose power I well might lodge a fear 
To be again displac'd : which to avoid ,
I cut them off ; and had a purpose now 
To lead out many to the Holy Land ,
Lest rest and lying still might make them look 
Too near unto my state . Therefore , my Harry ,
Be it thy course to busy giddy minds 
With foreign quarrels ; that action , hence borne out ,
May waste the memory of the former days .
More would I , but my lungs are wasted so 
That strength of speech is utterly denied me .
How I came by the crown , O God , forgive !
And grant it may with thee in true peace live .

My gracious liege ,
You won it , wore it , kept it , gave it me ;
Then plain and right must my possession be :
Which I with more than with a common pain 
'Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain .


Look , look , here comes my John of Lancaster .

Health , peace , and happiness to my royal father !

Thou bring'st me happiness and peace , son John ;
But health , alack , with youthful wings is flown 
From this bare wither'd trunk : upon thy sight 
My worldly business makes a period .
Where is my Lord of Warwick ?

My Lord of Warwick !


Doth any name particular belong 
Unto the lodging where I first did swound ?

'Tis call'd Jerusalem , my noble lord .

Laud be to God ! even there my life must end .
It hath been prophesied to me many years 
I should not die but in Jerusalem ,
Which vainly I suppos'd the Holy Land .
But bear me to that chamber ; there I'll lie :
In that Jerusalem shall Harry die .

By cock and pie , sir , you shall not away to-night . What ! Davy , I say .

You must excuse me , Master Robert Shallow .

I will not excuse you ; you shall not be excused ; excuses shall not be admitted ; there is no excuse shall serve ; you shall not be excused . Why , Davy !


Here , sir .

Davy , Davy , Davy , Davy , let me see , Davy ; let me see : yea , marry , William cook , bid him come hither . Sir John , you shall not be excused .

Marry , sir , thus ; those precepts cannot be served : and again , sir , shall we sow the headland with wheat ?

With red wheat , Davy . But for William cook : are there no young pigeons ?

Yes , sir . Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and plough-irons .

Let it be cast and paid . Sir John , you shall not be excused .

Now , sir , a new link to the bucket must needs be had : and , sir , do you mean to stop any of William's wages , about the sack he lost the other day at Hinckley fair ?

A' shall answer it . Some pigeons , Davy , a couple of short-legged hens , a joint of mutton , and any pretty little tiny kickshaws , tell William cook .

Doth the man of war stay all night , sir ?

Yea , Davy . I will use him well . A friend i' the court is better than a penny in purse . Use his men well , Davy , for they are arrant knaves , and will backbite .

No worse than they are back-bitten , sir ; for they have marvellous foul linen .

Well conceited , Davy : about thy business , Davy .

I beseech you , sir , to countenance William Visor of Wincot against Clement Perkes of the hill .

There are many complaints , Davy , against that Visor : that Visor is an arrant knave , on my knowledge .

I grant your worship that he is a knave , sir ; but yet , God forbid , sir , but a knave should have some countenance at his friend's request . An honest man , sir , is able to speak for himself , when a knave is not . I have served your worship truly , sir , this eight years ; and if I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man , I have but a very little credit with your worship . The knave is mine honest friend , sir ; therefore , I beseech your worship , let him be countenanced .

Go to ; I say he shall have no wrong . Look about , Davy .

Where are you , Sir John ? Come , come , come ; off with your boots . Give me your hand , Master Bardolph .

I am glad to see your worship .

I thank thee with all my heart , kind Master Bardolph :

and welcome , my tall fellow . Come , Sir John .

I'll follow you , good Master Robert Shallow .

If I were sawed into quantities , I should make four dozen of such bearded hermit's staves as Master Shallow . It is a wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his : they , by observing him , do bear themselves like foolish justices ; he , by conversing with them , is turned into a justice-like serving-man . Their spirits are so married in conjunction with the participation of society that they flock together in consent , like so many wild-geese . If I had a suit to Master Shallow , I would humour his men with the imputation of being near their master : if to his men , I would curry with Master Shallow that no man could better command his servants . It is certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is caught , as men take diseases , one of another : therefore let men take heed of their company . I will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of six fashions ,which is four terms , or two actions ,and a' shall laugh without intervallums . O ! it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never had the ache in his shoulders . O ! you shall see him laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up !

Sir John !

I come , Master Shallow : I come , Master Shallow .


How now , my Lord Chief Justice ! whither away ?

How doth the king ?

Exceeding well : his cares are now all ended .

I hope not dead .

He's walk'd the way of nature ;
And to our purposes he lives no more .

I would his majesty had call'd me with him :
The service that I truly did his life 
Hath left me open to all injuries .

Indeed I think the young king loves you not .

I know he doth not , and do arm myself ,
To welcome the condition of the time ;
Which cannot look more hideously upon me 
Than I have drawn it in my fantasy .


Here come the heavy issue of dead Harry :
O ! that the living Harry had the temper 
Of him , the worst of these three gentlemen .
How many nobles then should hold their places ,
That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort !

O God ! I fear all will be overturn'd .

Good morrow , cousin Warwick , good morrow .

Good morrow , cousin .

Good morrow , cousin .

We meet like men that had forgot to speak .

We do remember ; but our argument 
Is all too heavy to admit much talk .

Well , peace be with him that hath made us heavy !

Peace be with us , lest we be heavier !

O ! good my lord , you have lost a friend indeed ;
And I dare swear you borrow not that face 
Of seeming sorrow ; it is sure your own .

Though no man be assur'd what grace to find ,
You stand in coldest expectation .
I am the sorrier ; would 'twere otherwise .

Well , you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair ,
Which swims against your stream of quality .

Sweet princes , what I did , I did in honour ,
Led by the impartial conduct of my soul ;
And never shall you see that I will beg 
A ragged and forestall'd remission .
If truth and upright innocency fail me ,
I'll to the king my master that is dead ,
And tell him who hath sent me after him .

Here comes the prince .


Good morrow , and God save your majesty !

This new and gorgeous garment , majesty ,
Sits not so easy on me as you think .
Brothers , you mix your sadness with some fear :
This is the English , not the Turkish court ;
Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds ,
But Harry Harry . Yet be sad , good brothers ,
For , to speak truth , it very well becomes you :
Sorrow so royally in you appears 
That I will deeply put the fashion on 
And wear it in my heart . Why then , be sad ;
But entertain no more of it , good brothers ,
Than a joint burden laid upon us all .
For me , by heaven , I bid you be assur'd ,
I'll be your father and your brother too ;
Let me but bear your love , I'll bear your cares :
Yet weep that Harry's dead , and so will I ;
But Harry lives that shall convert those tears 
By number into hours of happiness .

We hope no other from your majesty .

You all look strangely on me :

and you most ;
You are , I think , assur'd I love you not .

I am assur'd , if I be measur'd rightly ,
Your majesty hath no just cause to hate me .

No !
How might a prince of my great hopes forget 
So great indignities you laid upon me ?
What ! rate , rebuke , and roughly send to prison 
The immediate heir of England ! Was this easy ?
May this be wash'd in Lethe , and forgotten ?

I then did use the person of your father ;
The image of his power lay then in me :
And , in the administration of his law ,
Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth ,
Your highness pleased to forget my place ,
The majesty and power of law and justice ,
The image of the king whom I presented ,
And struck me in my very seat of judgment ;
Whereon , as an offender to your father ,
I gave bold way to my authority ,
And did commit you . If the deed were ill ,
Be you contented , wearing now the garland ,
To have a son set your decrees at nought ,
To pluck down justice from your awful bench ,
To trip the course of law , and blunt the sword 
That guards the peace and safety of your person :
Nay , more , to spurn at your most royal image 
And mock your workings in a second body .
Question your royal thoughts , make the case yours ;
Be now the father and propose a son ,
Hear your own dignity so much profan'd ,
See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted ,
Behold yourself so by a son disdain'd ;
And then imagine me taking your part ,
And in your power soft silencing your son :
After this cold considerance , sentence me ;
And , as you are a king , speak in your state 
What I have done that misbecame my place ,
My person , or my liege's sov'reignty .

You are right , justice ; and you weigh this well ;
Therefore still bear the balance and the sword :
And I do wish your honours may increase 
Till you do live to see a son of mine 
Offend you and obey you , as I did .
So shall I live to speak my father's words :
'Happy am I , that have a man so bold 
That dares do justice on my proper son ;
And not less happy , having such a son ,
That would deliver up his greatness so 
Into the hands of justice .' You did commit me :
For which , I do commit into your hand 
The unstained sword that you have us'd to bear ;
With this remembrance , that you use the same 
With the like bold , just , and impartial spirit 
As you have done 'gainst me . There is my hand :
You shall be as a father to my youth ;
My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear ,
And I will stoop and humble my intents 
To your well-practis'd wise directions .
And , princes all , believe me , I beseech you ;
My father is gone wild into his grave ,
For in his tomb lie my affections ;
And with his spirit sadly I survive ,
To mock the expectation of the world ,
To frustrate prophecies , and to raze out 
Rotten opinion , who hath writ me down 
After my seeming . The tide of blood in me 
Hath proudly flow'd in vanity till now :
Now doth it turn and ebb back to the sea ,
Where it shall mingle with the state of floods 
And flow henceforth in formal majesty .
Now call we our high court of parliament ;
And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel ,
That the great body of our state may go 
In equal rank with the best govern'd nation ;
That war or peace , or both at once , may be 
As things acquainted and familiar to us ;
In which you , father , shall have foremost hand .
Our coronation done , we will accite ,
As I before remember'd , all our state :
And , God consigning to my good intents ,
No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say ,
God shorten Harry's happy life one day .


Nay , you shall see mine orchard , where , in an arbour , we will eat a last year's pippin of my own graffing , with a dish of caraways , and so forth ; come , cousin Silence ; and then to bed .

'Fore God , you have here a goodly dwelling , and a rich .

Barren , barren , barren ; beggars all , beggars all , Sir John : marry , good air . Spread , Davy ; spread , Davy : well said , Davy .

This Davy serves you for good uses ; he is your serving-man and your husband .

A good varlet , a good varlet , a very good varlet , Sir John : by the mass , I have drunk too much sack at supper : a good varlet . Now sit down , now sit down . Come , cousin .

Ah , sirrah ! quoth a' , we shall 

Do nothing but eat , and make good cheer ,
And praise God for the merry year ;
When flesh is cheap and females dear ,
And lusty lads roam here and there ,
So merrily 
And ever among so merrily .


There's a merry heart ! Good Master Silence , I'll give you a health for that anon .

Give Master Bardolph some wine , Davy .

Sweet sir , sit ; I'll be with you anon : most sweet sir , sit . Master page , good master page , sit . Proface ! What you want in meat we'll have in drink : but you must bear : the heart's all .


Be merry , Master Bardolph ; and my little soldier there , be merry .


Be merry , be merry , my wife has all ;
For women are shrews , both short and tall :
'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all ,
And welcome merry Shrove-tide .
Be merry , be merry .


I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle .

Who , I ? I have been merry twice and once ere now .


There's a dish of leather-coats for you .


Davy !

Your worship ! I'll be with you straight . A cup of wine , sir ?


A cup of wine that's brisk and fine 
And drink unto the leman mine ;
And a merry heart lives long-a .


Well said , Master Silence .

And we shall be merry , now comes in the sweet o' the night .

Health and long life to you , Master Silence .


Fill the cup , and let it come ;
I'll pledge you a mile to the bottom .


Honest Bardolph , welcome : if thou wantest anything and wilt not call , beshrew thy heart .

Welcome , my little tiny thief ; and welcome indeed too . I'll drink to Master Bardolph and to all the cavaleiroes about London .

I hope to see London once ere I die .

An I might see you there , Davy ,

By the mass , you'll crack a quart together : ha ! will you not , Master Bardolph ?

Yea , sir , in a pottle-pot .

By God's liggens , I thank thee . The knave will stick by thee , I can assure thee that : a' will not out ; he is true bred .

And I'll stick by him , sir .

Why , there spoke a king . Lack nothing : be merry .

Look who's at door there . Ho ! who knocks ?

Why , now you have done me right .


Do me right ,
And dub me knight :
Samingo 

Is't not so ?

'Tis so .

Is't so ? Why , then , say an old man can do somewhat .


An't please your worship , there's one Pistol come from the court with news .

From the court ! let him come in .

How now , Pistol !

Sir John , God save you , sir !

What wind blew you hither , Pistol ?

Not the ill wind which blows no man to good .
Sweet knight , thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm .

By'r lady , I think a' be , but goodman Puff of Barson .

Puff !
Puff in thy teeth , most recreant coward base !
Sir John , I am thy Pistol and thy friend ,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee ,
And tidings do I bring and lucky joys 
And golden times and happy news of price .

I prithee now , deliver them like a man of this world .

A foutra for the world and worldlings base !
I speak of Africa and golden joys .

O base Assyrian knight , what is thy news ?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof .


And Robin Hood , Scarlet , and John .


Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons ?
And shall good news be baffled ?
Then , Pistol , lay thy head in Furies' lap .

Honest gentleman , I know not your breeding .

Why then , lament therefore .

Give me pardon , sir : if , sir , you come with news from the court , I take it there is but two ways : either to utter them , or to conceal them . I am , sir , under the king , in some authority .

Under which king , Bezonian ? speak , or die .

Under King Harry .

Harry the Fourth ? or Fifth ?

Harry the Fourth .

A foutra for thine office !
Sir John , thy tender lambkin now is king ;
Harry the Fifth's the man . I speak the truth :
When Pistol lies , do this ; and fig me , like 
The bragging Spaniard .

What ! is the old king dead ?

As nail in door : the things I speak are just .

Away , Bardolph ! saddle my horse . Master Robert Shallow , choose what office thou wilt in the land , 'tis thine . Pistol , I will double-charge thee with dignities .

O joyful day !
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune .

What ! I do bring good news .

Carry Master Silence to bed . Master Shallow , my Lord Shallow , be what thou wilt , I am Fortune's steward . Get on thy boots : we'll ride all night . O sweet Pistol ! Away , Bardolph !

Come , Pistol , utter more to me ; and , withal devise something to do thyself good . Boot , boot , Master Shallow : I know the young king is sick for me . Let us take any man's horses ; the laws of England are at my commandment . Happy are they which have been my friends , and woe unto my lord chief justice !

Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also !
'Where is the life that late I led ?' say they :
Why , here it is : welcome these pleasant days !


No , thou arrant knave : I would to God I might die that I might have thee hanged ; thou hast drawn my shoulder out of joint .

The constables have delivered her over to me , and she shall have whipping-cheer enough , I warrant her : there hath been a man or two lately killed about her .

Nut-hook , nut-hook , you lie . Come on ; I'll tell thee what , thou damned tripe-visaged rascal , an the child I now go with do miscarry , thou hadst better thou hadst struck thy mother , thou paper-faced villain .

O the Lord ! that Sir John were come ; he would make this a bloody day to somebody . But I pray God the fruit of her womb miscarry !

If it do , you shall have a dozen of cushions again ; you have but eleven now . Come , I charge you both go with me ; for the man is dead that you and Pistol beat among you .

I'll tell thee what , thou thin man in a censer , I will have you as soundly swinged for this , you blue-bottle rogue ! you filthy famished correctioner ! if you be not swinged , I'll forswear half-kirtles .

Come , come , you she knighterrant , come .

O , that right should thus overcome might ! Well , of sufferance comes ease .

Come , you rogue , come : bring me to a justice .

Ay ; come , you starved blood-hound .

Goodman death ! goodman bones !

Thou atomy , thou !

Come , you thin thing ; come , you rascal !

Very well .


More rushes , more rushes .

The trumpets have sounded twice .

It will be two o'clock ere they come from the coronation . Dispatch , dispatch .

Stand here by me , Master Robert Shallow ; I will make the king do you grace . I will leer upon him , as a' comes by ; and do but mark the countenance that he will give me .

God bless thy lungs , good knight .

Come here , Pistol ; stand behind me . O ! if I had had time to have made new liveries , I would have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you . But 'tis no matter ; this poor show doth better : this doth infer the zeal I had to see him .

It doth so .

It shows my earnestness of affection .

It doth so .

My devotion .

It doth , it doth , it doth .

As it were , to ride day and night ; and not to deliberate , not to remember , not to have patience to shift me .

It is most certain .

But to stand stained with travel , and sweating with desire to see him ; thinking of nothing else ; putting all affairs else in oblivion , as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him .

'Tis semper idem , for absque hoc nihil est :
'Tis all in every part .

'Tis so , indeed .

My knight , I will inflame thy noble liver ,
And make thee rage .
Thy Doll , and Helen of thy noble thoughts ,
Is in base durance and contagious prison ;
Hal'd thither 
By most mechanical and dirty hand :
Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake ,
For Doll is in : Pistol speaks nought but truth .

I will deliver her .


There roar'd the sea , and trumpetclangor sounds .


God save thy grace , King Hal ! my royal Hal !

The heavens thee guard and keep , most royal imp of fame !

God save thee , my sweet boy !

My lord chief justice , speak to that vain man .

Have you your wits ? know you what 'tis you speak ?

My king ! my Jove ! I speak to thee , my heart !

I know thee not , old man : fall to thy prayers ;
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester !
I have long dream'd of such a kind of man ,
So surfeit-swell'd , so old , and so profane ;
But , being awak'd , I do despise my dream .
Make less thy body hence , and more thy grace ;
Leave gormandising ; know the grave doth gape 
For thee thrice wider than for other men .
Reply not to me with a fool-born jest :
Presume not that I am the thing I was ;
For God doth know , so shall the world perceive ,
That I have turn'd away my former self ;
So will I those that kept me company .
When thou dost hear I am as I have been ,
Approach me , and thou shalt be as thou wast ,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots :
Till then , I banish thee , on pain of death ,
As I have done the rest of my misleaders ,
Not to come near our person by ten mile .
For competence of life I will allow you ,
That lack of means enforce you not to evil :
And , as we hear you do reform yourselves ,
We will , according to your strength and qualities ,
Give you advancement . Be it your charge , my lord ,
To see perform'd the tenour of our word .
Set on .


Master Shallow , I owe you a thousand pound .

Ay , marry , Sir John ; which I beseech you to let me have home with me .

That can hardly be , Master Shallow . Do not you grieve at this : I shall be sent for in private to him . Look you , he must seem thus to the world . Fear not your advancements ; I will be the man yet that shall make you great .

I cannot perceive how , unless you should give me your doublet and stuff me out with straw . I beseech you , good Sir John , let me have five hundred of my thousand .

Sir , I will be as good as my word : this that you heard was but a colour .

A colour that I fear you will die in , Sir John .

Fear no colours : go with me to dinner . Come , Lieutenant Pistol ; come , Bardolph : I shall be sent for soon at night .


Go , carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet ;
Take all his company along with him .

My lord , my lord !

I cannot now speak : I will hear you soon .
Take them away .

Si fortuna me tormenta , spero contenta .


I like this fair proceeding of the king's .
He hath intent his wonted followers 
Shall all be very well provided for ;
But all are banish'd till their conversations 
Appear more wise and modest to the world .

And so they are .

The king hath call'd his parliament , my lord .

He hath .

I will lay odds , that , ere this year expire ,
We bear our civil swords and native fire 
As far as France . I heard a bird so sing ,
Whose music , to my thinking , pleas'd the king .
Come , will you hence ?


First , my fear ; then , my curtsy ; last my speech . My fear is , your displeasure , my curtsy , my duty , and my speech , to beg your pardon . If you look for a good speech now , you undo me ; for what I have to say is of mine own making ; and what indeed I should say will , I doubt , prove mine own marring . But to the purpose , and so to the venture . Be it known to you ,as it is very well ,I was lately here in the end of a displeasing play , to pray your patience for it and to promise you a better . I did mean indeed to pay you with this ; which , if like an ill venture it come unluckily home , I break , and you , my gentle creditors , lose . Here , I promised you I would be , and here I commit my body to your mercies : bate me some and I will pay you some ; and , as most debtors do , promise you infinitely .
If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me , will you command me to use my legs ? and yet that were but light payment , to dance out of your debt . But a good conscience will make any possible satisfaction , and so will I . All the gentlewomen here have forgiven me : if the gentlemen will not , then the gentlemen do not agree with the gentlewomen , which was never seen before in such an assembly .
One word more , I beseech you . If you be not too much cloyed with fat meat , our humble author will continue the story , with Sir John in it , and make you merry with fair Katharine of France : where , for anything I know , Falstaff shall die of a sweat , unless already a' be killed with your hard opinions ; for Oldcastle died a martyr , and this is not the man . My tongue is weary ; when my legs are too , I will bid you good night : and so kneel down before you ; but , indeed , to pray for the queen .